


Earth's Weaknesses: Part Seven

by WaitingForMyHogwartsLetter



Series: Earth's Weaknesses: The 100 [7]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Badass, Bisexual Female Character, Canon Compliant, Domestic Fluff, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Injury, Murphy x Alyssa is my brotp, Murphyssa BROTP, Original Character(s), Original Character-centric, POV Original Female Character, Protective John Murphy (The 100) - Character, Season/Series 07 Spoilers, Spoilers, The 100 (TV) Season 7, going into this blind and updating as episodes release eek, no planning involved
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 35,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24538444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaitingForMyHogwartsLetter/pseuds/WaitingForMyHogwartsLetter
Summary: Part 7 of 7Set during Season 7 of The 100.***CONTAINS SERIES SEVEN SPOILERS***The time of the Primes is over, but there's a civil war beginning in Sanctum. This isn't helped by the fact that Bellamy is missing, and Sheidheda has downloaded into Russell, so there's that.At least we have fluff between Madi, Alyssa and Picasso to look forward to.
Relationships: Alyssa Jones & John Murphy, Alyssa Jones & Madi, Bellamy Blake/Alyssa Jones, Bellamy Blake/Echo, Bellamy Blake/Original Female Character(s), Clarke Griffin & Madi, Emori/John Murphy (The 100), Eric Jackson/Nathan Miller, Original Female Character & Madi
Series: Earth's Weaknesses: The 100 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1722190
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	1. Now We Rebuild (And Stop Everyone From Killing Each Other)

**Author's Note:**

> I've said it in the tags, and I'll say it again. 
> 
> ***SERIES SEVEN SPOILERS***
> 
> ***DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN SERIES SEVEN YET!!!***
> 
> (If you want to watch series seven and it is not on netflix, there are many other less-than-legal ways to do so)

Yesterday, Clarke told me she had a surprise for us, and I had been too tired to appreciate it. Now, as I stood in front of the farmhouse next to Madi and Gaia, with Picasso the dog at my heels, I could fully appreciate what we had.

“I thought I was supposed to start school today?” Madi looked around, “Why are we here?”

“I thought maybe you’d like to see our new home,” Clarke smiled. 

I whistled, “Shit, we get to live here?”

“Russell built it for Simone, so that she’d have a place to remind her of the farm she grew up on, back on earth, before the bombs. Picasso comes with it,” she explained. 

Madi’s eyes widened, “We can keep her?” When Clarke nodded, she jumped up and threw her arms around her, “Thank you, Clarke.”

“Let’s go inside,” Clarke cocked her head at the house and I grinned. 

Madi went in first, running in with Picasso while Gaia, Clarke and I hung back, walking slightly slower. Gaia spoke first, “I don’t know what I like less, lying about the flame or making Madi pretend she’s still Commander.”

“Indra thinks it could split Wonkru,” Clarke sighed. “You don’t agree?”

“I do, and I know we need them unified to keep the peace here… I just worry about Madi,” Gaia glanced at the door that Madi had disappeared into. 

I shrugged, “I get it. But this isn’t forever. Once everything’s sorted out, we won’t _need_ a Commander.”

“Yeah, for now we keep it quiet and Indra can say she speaks for Heda,” Clarke confirmed. “But Madi is out of it. She finally gets to be a kid. Come on, there are plenty of rooms for all of us.”

I sighed blissfully as we walked in, “I smell food, and the food smells good.” 

Indra and Raven were in the kitchen and as I smiled at them, Raven handed me a bowl of soup. Indra cut straight past the pleasantries and to the first order of business, something I admired about her. “Heda, if you don’t mind, you’re needed elsewhere,” she addressed Madi.

“Why?” I asked.

Indra explained, “We’ve been here a day and Wonkru hasn’t seen her.”

Gaia smiled, “Mother, don’t be so dramatic. Go on, Madi. Eat your lunch, it’s okay.”

Madi hesitated for a moment before taking Picasso with her out one of the other doors.

“She seems okay?” Raven supplied.

“She is,” Indra confirmed. 

“She _will_ be,” Gaia overruled them. 

I rolled my eyes, “ _She_ can speak for herself. Madi would say if something was up, and right now the only thing bothering her is the covert conversations she knows we’re having about her.” 

Gaia sighed, “There’s never been an ex-Commander before. We don’t know how having the flame removed will affect her. Not to mention being taken over by—”

“Sheidheda’s gone,” Indra interjected firmly. 

Raven shifted, “Are you sure about that?” When the atmosphere in the room changed she reworded her answer. “He’s gone. He’s gone. I would just feel better if I knew where that code ended up, that’s all.”

“Okay,” Clarke nodded. “Then on your next supply run to the mothership, you can search the computer again. In the meantime, we have to establish a routine, not just for Madi but for all of us.” 

“Agreed,” I sipped my soup. “Sanctum is broken, and we have to rebuild it.” 

Clarke smiled at me, “If we focus on that, we’ll be okay. Now let’s eat, so we can get back to work.”

“One of us needs to represent the Commander,” Indra announced again. “And I’m hungry.” With a sigh, Gaia handed her mother her bowl of soup and left to talk to Wonkru, and Indra walked outside with her lunch and a sly smile on her face. 

Raven chuckled to herself, “Mothers and daughters…” When she realised what she’d said, she backtracked completely and looked at Clarke guiltily, “I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay, Raven,” Clarke reassured her. “I’m fine,” before taking her soup outside to the others. 

I glanced at Raven, “She’s not fine. She says she is, but she’s not fine. Like at all.”

“Yeah, but she’s Clarke, so she’s convinced herself she has to be,” she replied with a sigh. 

We followed her outside and sat down on the picnic blankets. I dropped down next to Murphy and sighed, tilting my head back to revel in the sunlight. So Sanctum may be in pieces, and Bellamy, Octavia and Echo have gone to investigate the anomaly for god knows how long, but it actually seemed like for the first time in a while, we might _actually_ be okay. 

“There’s a fly in your soup,” Murphy warned, using the distraction to try and dip a piece of bread into my bowl. 

I swatted him away, narrowing my eyes at him but continuing to smile, “Fly? I think you mean _cockroach_.” 

“Ha ha,” he looked at me blankly. “I’m laughing on the inside.”

“I can tell,” I replied, rolling my eyes. 

Clarke sat down as well and he raised an eyebrow at her, “So you’ve taken the master suite?”

She shrugged, “To the victor go the spoils.”

“We all share the clothes though,” Niylah prompted. 

I raised my bowl, “I don’t have a glass, but I’ll drink to that.” 

“It’s fine, Clarke,” Emori reassured her. “Our room is fine. A little tight, but we’ll make it work.”

Miller watched them out of the corner of his eye from where he was lying on the picnic blanket, “Maybe Daniel and Kaylee _Prime_ should live in the palace.”

“Daniel and Kaylee Prime saved your ass, Miller,” Murphy reminded him. “A thank you would do.”

“No one lives in the palace,” Indra walked over. “Least of all us. Being seen as conquerors will only make keeping the peace harder.”

“Lighten up, Indra,” I smiled, “We’re not in any immediate danger, let them banter.”

Raven held out her bowl, clearing her throat to get our attention before beginning a toast. “To our first meal in our new home. To absent friends.”

“And departed ones,” Niylah added, and my eyes flickered over to where Clarke was sitting to see if I could read her face. 

“To Abby,” Miller raised his glass.

“To Abby,” we echoed.

Without warning, Jackson leant over and smacked Murphy’s glass out of his hand. Murphy jumped, avoiding the liquid as it showered the grass behind him, “Hey! What the hell is your problem?” 

“I’m sorry,” Jackson replied, “But I’m not just going to sit here while he drinks to the woman that he got killed.”

Murphy’s face fell, “I didn’t know Russell what was going to do.” He turned to Clarke, “I didn’t— I… Clarke, you have to believe me. I didn’t know.” 

“I believe you,” she said firmly, and he gave her a small nod. “Dwelling on the past is not going to get this compound running, and it won’t get our compound built.” 

I watched her out of the corner of my eye, worried. She’d just lost her mother, and I knew what that was like. Hell, it drove me to murder. I just wished she’d acknowledge the fact that she isn’t okay, and actually talk to one of us about her grief instead of just locking it away in a box inside her head. 

~

After lunch, we visited the main part of Sanctum to see how everything was going. It wasn’t exactly brilliant, but things were… things were moving. On the way, Indra explained the current situation. “The people of Sanctum have lost their way of life. Many still believe in the Primes and they blame us.” 

“Faith is a powerful thing,” Niylah agreed. 

“A dangerous thing,” Indra corrected her. “We can expect conflict between believers and non-believers.”

“Yay,” I announced sarcastically. “Just what we need, _another_ civil war.” 

Indra ignored me, “To make matters worse, the Children of Gabriel are here. Sanctum is their home too. They want Russell Prime and anyone who believes in him dead. At the moment, they too are our allies. Add to that, thirty-six hardened criminals from earth who Wonkru was at war with a few days ago? I’d say we have our hands full being the keepers of the peace.”

“I spoke too soon,” I sighed. “Oh well, casual Monday.”

“The day of unproductivity?” Murphy raised an eyebrow at me. 

I laughed, “I can’t believe you remembered that.”

“And guns?” Clarke asked.

“Until we’re sure that all of the guns have been rounded up, Wonkru will be armed,” Indra assured her. 

“Army of cannibal peacekeepers,” Murphy scoffed. “What could go wrong?”

Miller groaned, “Remind me how long we have to wait until our compound gets built?”

“Two years, if everything goes perfectly,” Raven announced, her expression changing as we looked out over Sanctum and it’s shoddy politics. “So three years.”

“If we’re lucky,” I muttered under my breath. 

To put it plainly, Sanctum was a mess. There were Wonkru guards dotted around the place with rifles, but there were also Children of Gabriel arguing with believers in the Primes, believers arguing with non-believers, and people sitting around watching the arguments in case war broke out. 

Called it: Monday, the day of universal unproductivity.

Madi disappeared off for school and I waved her goodbye with a sympathetic smile as she dodged a member of Wonkru who tried to kneel before his Commander. “Bodyguards?” Miller offered. 

“Yes. But make sure they don’t get too close and they leave her alone,” Clarke advised. 

“Copy that,” he nodded, and the three men in question followed after her. 

Indra looked around Sanctum with an unimpressed look on her face, “Too many people.”

Raven raised an eyebrow, “Good thing A.L.I.E’s not around.”

I laughed and hid it as a cough when I realised the atmosphere wasn’t perfect for jokes. Someone ran over and got Raven’s attention and her eyes widened in discomfort. “James? What is it? Is it the reactor again?”

“No,” he shook his head worriedly, “Much more explosive.”

“Brilliant,” I sighed, taking off after him. “Just what we need.”

We marched into the palace hall just as the Children of Gabriel raised their weapons. One of the Eligius men raised an eyebrow, “My money’s on the guys with the guns.” He paused, taking in the new scene as the Wonkru guards raised their own weapons, which there were considerably more of. “The other guns,” he clarified. 

“Children of Gabriel, stand down,” Indra ordered as the Wonkru soldiers confiscated the Children of Gabriel’s guns. I sighed, _It’s going to be a long few years._

A woman in an Eligius uniform with her pale blonde hair half braided back rolled her eyes, “Let me guess, this is the part where the convicts take the blame?”

Clarke stepped in, “No, but when we woke you to help clear the ground for _our_ compound, you agreed to stay in tents. The palace is off limits.”

Miller held out a hand, shooting the final armed member of the Children of Gabriel an unimpressed look, “That goes for the Children of Gabriel too.” 

“Okay,” the Eligius man shrugged, “That’s fine. We’ll take your scraps for now. But if we’re going to do the work, we’re going to hold you to the meaning of the words ‘ _our_ compound’.” He sighed, throwing an arm around the woman next to him, “Let’s go.” The rest of the Eligius crew followed suit and left the palace after him, leaving just the Children of Gabriel and the believers. 

“Jordan?” Clarke called him over and he left the group momentarily to come over. “You weren’t at the farmhouse? We saved you a room.”

“The food’s great,” I prompted. “And I said you should try some of Murphy’s cooking at some point, now might be the best chance.” 

Jordan gave her a half-smile, “I’m okay above the tavern.” His face turned serious, “These people… they need to see Russell.”

“Out of the question,” Indra cut in, once again doing that weird but really awesome thing where she seems to appear without making any noise whatsoever. 

“I told you,” the leader of the Children of Gabriel announced, “You’ll see him when he burns.”

I rolled my eyes, “Dramatic much? You guys really need better hobbies.”

Miller nodded, glancing at the man, “Yeah, maybe take a log or two off the fire.” 

“No one is burning at the stake!” Clarke said firmly, with a hint of exasperation in her voice. “Not any more.”

“Then what’s being done with him?” One of the believers piped up.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, completely fed up of the whole believer/non-believer brink of a civil war fiasco, and it had only been two days. “We haven’t decided yet. He will die though, I can guarantee it. But we’re done with burning people at the stake.”

A small voice inside my head said, _I say we float him._ But I chose to ignore it. This was Sanctum, it wasn’t the Ark. But they might have had the right idea because at least they didn’t _burn anyone at the stake._ Seriously! What is this, the bloody Salem witch trials?

“He’s being well cared for,” Clarke reassured them, throwing an unimpressed glance in my direction which I chose to ignore. 

“How can we take your word for that?” The man asked.

Indra walked over to him, commanding the room even though she was almost a foot shorter than the believer man. “You’re talking about the man who murdered her mother, so I suggest you say ‘thank you’ and be on your way.”

“He also murdered her, but it didn’t stick. If it had, I would’ve done something _much_ worse than set him on fire. _Much_ worse,” I glared at him. 

Clarke put a hand on my shoulder, “Guys, it’s okay.” She turned to the believers to address the group fully. “Look, you seem to get on just fine with Jordan, if you won’t take my word for it, how about you take his.”

So Clarke took Jordan to see Russell, and I left to visit the tavern, where I assumed Murphy and Emori would be. I was right, they were sitting at the bar with Jo Juice in abundance and I slid onto the stool next to Murphy. 

“How’s it feel to be a god in a world that’s split between believers and non-believers?” I asked, tilting a glass slightly in their direction. I received two unimpressed stares in response, so I returned them with an eye roll of my own. “Relax, I’m just screwing with you.”

Murphy finished his glass and asked for a refill, “Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right,” he sighed, referencing the Eligius crew and the Children of Gabriel.”

“Hey,” Emori nudged him, raising her book. “Listen to this. Kaylee changed because of love too, Isaac, a null, made her see what they’d become.” 

“What are you reading?” I glanced at the book. 

“Kaylee’s journal,” she explained. “It’s pretty cool.”

“Farmer loving the pig she leads to the slaughter,” Murphy downed another drink. 

Emori sighed, shifting closer to him. “Jackson didn’t mean it, John. You didn’t kill Abby, _Russell_ did.” 

“I told her that it was gonna be good for her,” he muttered. “I told them that Abby could make nightblood out of bone marrow.”

“If you hadn’t we’d have all died. And I’d probably have someone else’s mind drive in my head,” I nudged him. 

“You did that to save us all,” Emori assured him. 

He snapped, “I helped Josephine convince Abby that she was Clarke.”

We were interrupted by one of the believers coming over to pour more drinks, “Blessed is Daniel, blessed is—” she was cut off as Murphy moved his glass out of the way, causing her to spill the juice all over the table. “I’m so sorry, my lord—” she stuttered. 

“I got this,” Delilah’s mother came over, clearing up the mess with a sympathetic smile. 

“Don’t worry,” Emori sighed. “I think he’s had enough.”

I nodded, “I think it’s time to cut you off, buddy. Or you can forget nightblood, your body will be pumping Jo Juice for the rest of your life.”

“Look, you got it all wrong,” Murphy turned to the believer girl, “I know you think that I’m—” 

He was cut off by Raven’s arrival, “Daniel, can I talk to you? I just need a minute.” The other girl nodded and left and she slid into the seat next to mine, throwing a glance at the Children of Gabriel. “Act like you hardly know me,” she hissed to him. 

“What are you talking about?” Emori asked. 

Raven looked around cautiously, leaning in before continuing, “This place is a powder keg.”

“Ohhh, this is good,” Murphy raised an eyebrow as he replied jokingly, “Miss Morality wants us to be Primes.”

“Newsflash, you _are_ Primes. That bad choice has sailed. But if these people actually believe you’re Daniel and Kaylee, you may still do us some good.” 

I shrugged, “Unless the Children of Gabriel decide to burn them at the stake.” Once I realised that I’d said that _out loud_ , I pulled a face. “Sorry, probably not helping.”

“The answer’s no,” Murphy told her, turning and walking away to the other side of the bar, most likely to get more drinks. 

Emori sighed, “He blames himself for Abby,” she explained to Raven. 

I looked up, noticing Jordan coming in. “He was just with Russell, this can’t be good.” Jordan was intercepted by one of the other believers, who seemed to be forcefully trying to get him to leave so that they could talk in private. I tried to lip-read, but he was talking too fast and Jordan kept shifting in front of my view so I ended up drawing a blank. “What do you think’s going on over there?” 

The small group of believers left in a hurry, and the Children of Gabriel noticed and disappeared after them. I downed the remains of my drink and rested a hand on the knife by my belt. There were only so many ways this could go. 

“Here we go again,” Raven sighed. 

We set off after them as they crossed the compound, shouting various contrasting things between the two groups like “Free Russell Prime!” and “A cage is better than he deserves!” I obviously agreed with the latter, but the whole point of peacekeeping is to _not_ pick a side. Even though I clearly had preference over which side I’d rather be on. Although the Eligius crew for once didn’t seem to be doing that much damage, so siding with them might be preferable. Who knew the murderers and arsonists would end up as the metaphorical Switzerland? 

Clarke jogged over, “What’s going on?”

“They’re going for Russell,” Raven explained. 

I groaned, “Double his guard and put me on the door, that should shut them up.” 

Indra joined us, “I’m moving him to the palace where we can protect him.” 

“I thought you said the palace was off-limits?” I raised an eyebrow. 

She shrugged, something I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen Indra do, “Every battle plan is perfect until the first shot is fired.”

“And the Children of Gabriel?” asked Raven. 

“They won’t be happy, but it’s either that or we execute him now and be done with it,” Indra replied. 

I raised my hand, “I vote execution. Kill the jackass, it’s what he wants anyway. Then again, that’s just my opinion. But still, it’s a half-decent idea.” Clarke shook her head and I sighed. “Okay, just put me on his guard detail then. Me and Miller can probably take them if they come for him.” 

Jordan pushed past us and Clarke called to him, “Hey. Thanks for your help,” she snapped. 

“He wants to be killed, that’s all I told them,” Jordan replied. 

“So let’s give him what he wants,” one of the Children of Gabriel sneered, before getting the crowd on his side and shouting, “DEATH TO PRIMES!”

Indra looked around, “We need to do this now.” 

Clarke nodded and Indra, Miller and I followed her into Russell’s cell as she explained to him what was going on. “We’re moving you to someplace safe.”

“Why are you protecting the man who killed your mother?” he asked cautiously. 

“Excellent question,” Indra glanced at Clarke. 

Russell took a few steps forward and furrowed his brows, “If I could kill you for what you did, I wouldn’t hesitate.” 

I stepped between them, glaring at him. “You’re also the man who killed her, which means I have a personal vendetta against you so I suggest we get a move on before I—” 

Miller grabbed my arm, bringing my argument to a halt before it reached its peak, “I don’t like this either, but we’re not here for an execution.” 

“We could be?” I suggested, but no one seemed to notice. “You may not be dying today, but rest assured you’ll get your wish at some point,” I plastered a fake smile on my face. “Now move.”

“Get him out of here,” Clarke nodded and Miller unlocked the shackles from the wall, leaving only Russell’s wrists bound. He grabbed him by the arm to move him along and handed me his rifle to cover them. 

I raised it, blocking the sides to stop people from coming at us. Unfortunately, there appeared to be a wall of believers blocking our way to the palace. They had linked arms and Jordan stood in front of them to try and halt the procession of the prisoner transport in order to keep everyone alive. “Nobody has to die!” he protested, “Stop, please!”

“Do you want me to use some non-lethal force on their asses? I’ve gotten pretty good at it,” I hissed to Clarke, but she was too busy looking at the chaos around us to hear me, which was pretty understandable.

A gunshot rang out and everyone turned around to see where it had come from. A guard had fired into the air under the orders of Emori and Murphy as they had emerged from the tavern and were heading straight at the crowd. “Have we learned nothing?” Murphy shouted, attracting everyone’s attention. 

“Let them pass,” Emori ordered, and some of the less-forceful believers immediately moved out of the way. “We can trust Wonkru. After all,” she placed a hand on the leading believer’s shoulder, “We are one.”

“We are one!” He shouted, and the rest of them began to move enough to let us past. 

“We are one?” Murphy raised an eyebrow at her. 

She grinned, “From Kaylee’s journal. Her slogan when she stopped oblation.”

“You are so hot right now,” Murphy whispered, reaching for her hand. 

Emori raised an eyebrow and put her hand on his chest to push them apart. “ _Sister_ ,” she reminded him. I almost choked, having pretty much forgotten that Daniel and Kaylee were siblings, which made it all the funnier since Murphy seemed ready to make out with Emori at literally any given time. 

“My idea,” Raven smirked at Clarke.

“Good one,” she replied. 

I shrugged, “Could’ve been better considering ‘Daniel’ was very close to committing a variant of public incest two seconds ago.” Emori snorted and Murphy ducked his head as I grinned, trying to hide my laughter and failing. 

“Of course, now the Children of Gabriel want them dead…” Clarke added.

Miller sighed, shaking his head and smiling in disbelief. “The lengths some people will go to live in a castle…” he muttered quietly, but still just loud enough for us to hear. 

“We get to live in the castle?” Emori raised her eyebrows suggestively.

“If they’re going to get murdered in their sleep, better there than at the farmhouse with us,” Miller suggested. 

“He does have a point,” Raven shrugged. “I need my eight hours.” 

I considered it, “It does have a lot of bedrooms, and it gives me an excuse to show up for the food occasionally if the work here goes on pretty late…” 

“Alright,” Clarke smiled, trying to bite back a laugh, “At least until they kill you.” 

~

An hour later, and after a few more various different altercations with the believers and non-believers, and a small argument with the Eligius crew about who gets what tent, we were finally able to return to the farmhouse. Clarke, Indra and I walked back in to find Gaia and Madi at the kitchen table, pouring over a sketchbook. 

“What’s this?” I raised an eyebrow, leaning over to take a look. “Damn, Mads. You drew these? You clearly take after Clarke.” 

Gaia smiled, “I hope you guys don’t mind, but Madi and I already ate.”

“You know, while you were off rebuilding Sanctum by hand,” Madi added.

Indra sighed, “Who knew putting a society back together would be such hard work?”

“How was school?” I shed my jacket and sat down next to them, changing the subject. 

Madi shrugged, “I got bored when they were teaching us about the Primes, that’s when I drew these.” Clarke walked past but Madi grabbed her, jogging after her. “Clarke, I don’t care that you’re late, I care _why_ you are.” 

“Madi, Indra’s right. We have a lot of work to do,” Clarke reminded her, but that’s not what Madi was talking about. 

“Stop it,” she sighed. “Talk to me. I know what it’s like to lose a mom, and I can help?” 

“Hey,” Clarke brushed a piece of hair out of Madi’s face. “I’m still here. You didn’t lose me.” 

Madi lowered her gaze slightly, “Not you, Clarke. She died in my arms, I know what that’s like.”

She had never told us about her birth mother. During the time after Praimfaya, it must have been too painful to bring up and since Clarke and I _knew_ that Madi’s family wouldn’t have survived the radiation… 

Clarke nodded slowly, “Well, the woman I floated was not my mom. I’m fine, Madi. Really.” 

Madi’s eyes brimmed with tears as she turned away, wiping them with the back of her hand. “I’m going to bed.” 

I looked between them, inwardly groaning, before deciding that I should follow Madi this time. If Clarke was going to continue to push her feelings down and refuse to talk to anyone, then I could at least help Madi. 

“Not my finest moment,” Clarke sighed, sitting down at the table. 

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Indra told her as she sipped her soup. “You handled that well.”

“I’m going to check on her, I’ll be right back,” I informed the others before making my way up the wooden staircase. I had never been told which room was Madi’s which meant I had to follow the maze of thin corridors before I found one where the door was ajar. “Mads?” I whispered, checking to see if I could come in. 

“I’m in here, Lyss,” she replied. 

I pushed the door open further and sat down next to her on the bed. “Are you okay?”

“She won’t talk to me,” Madi sighed. “To any of us. She says she’s fine but I _know_ she’s not.” 

I put an arm around her, “I know, I’ve tried too. This is how Clarke deals with things, she buries them and buries them until there’s nothing to hide anymore. But I can try again later with her, right now I’m sitting here with you, asking _you_ how _you’re_ doing.” 

“Could be better,” she mumbled. 

“I mean, you could have my job,” I sighed. “I have a dozen people on rotation reminding me that I can’t just kill Russell and get it over with, because apparently there’s a slight chance it’ll start a civil war.” 

Madi let out a weak laugh, leaning against me. “Long day?”

“Long _life_ ,” I replied pointedly, but a small smile crept across my face. “You never told us about your mom, Mads. Is this stuff with Clarke… is it bringing all that back up for you?”

“A little,” she wiped a hand across her face. “It’s hard.”

“I still remember when my mom died,” I sighed. “I never told you about her either. Didn’t think you were old enough. But… you’ve been Commander, you’ve seen the memories of past commanders… you can handle it. I told you my dad was a shitty dude, that he liked to trade things for selfish reasons? He… he’s part of the reason my mom died, and he managed to make me feel like it was my fault for a really long time. I mean, her death drove me to _murder._ That’s how I ended up in the Skybox.” 

She pulled a face, “If I met your dad, I’d kick his ass.”

I laughed, “He’s been dead over a hundred and thirty years, but I appreciate the thought…” I trailed off, changing the subject. “Are you gonna be okay? You’re not gonna be seeing much of us with the whole ‘rebuilding Sanctum’ thing.” 

“You’re family, you’re still here,” she said firmly. “We’re _all_ gonna be okay. Clarke included.”

“I’ll keep working on her, try and get her to talk to me,” I reassured her. 

“Same,” she replied. 

A large bang sounded from the direction of Sanctum and I cursed. “If only I could say the same about this damned compound.”

“Lyssa! We have a situation!” Clarke shouted. 

“I’m on my way,” I replied, before sighing and turning to Madi. “I have a feeling you’ll be asleep by the time we get back.” 

“Be careful, don’t die,” she whispered, giving me a final hug.

I ruffled her hair, “Get some sleep, kid.” 

“Lyssa!” Clarke called again. 

“I’m coming!” I shouted back. 

~

We got back to the palace, so that Miller could brief us on what happened. “They blew up a container on the lower level to pull our attention away from the palace,” he explained. “There’s a dozen hardcore believers outside Russell’s quarters right now. The adjusters are back in their bibs, our guards are at the door but they withdrew.”

“That was the right call, Miller,” Clarke nodded. “Nobody else should die because of what they believe.”

Indra glanced at her, unimpressed. “What other reason is there to die?”

“I couldn’t agree more,” the guy in charge of the Children of Gabriel emerged from the corner dramatically, drawing everyone’s attention in his direction. 

“What the hell is he doing here?” Indra pushed past Miller and towards the guy. 

“He’s unarmed,” Miller informed her. 

The man smiled, folding his arms. “The Children of Gabriel have demands.”

“Get in line,” Clarke told him, her voice dripping with sarcasm. 

“We want Russell Prime,” he announced. 

I scoffed, “Surely you’ve realised by now that’s clearly not going to happen?” 

“The people who live here should decide Russell’s fate,” Clarke cut in. “Not us.” 

“This is our home too,” he argued back with calm anger, a born negotiator. “We were thrown out, like garbage. My parents are still here and I don’t even know who they are. The Primes did that."

Clarke sighed, “I’m sorry that happened to you, but we can’t let you have Russell.” 

“Either Russell Prime dies,” he warned, “Or Kaylee and Daniel do.”

“Out of line,” I cautioned, my hand tapping the knife at my side. “Want to try that again?”

Miller frowned at him, “Come on Nelson, you know they’re not really Daniel and Kaylee.”

Nelson smiled, “You want them to play dress up so that you can control the sheep? Fine. But Russell Prime is ours. You have until tomorrow’s second moon to decide.” He pushed past us and left, having laid out his deal on the table for us to mull over. 

“The man deserves to die, Clarke,” announced Indra.

“Maybe,” Clarke replied, “But the kind of society I want my child to grow up in doesn’t take an eye for an eye.” 

I started, “Clarke, bear in mind he—” at the same time as Miller began, “Clarke, he killed your—” she cut us both off with a stern look. “Fine,” Miller sighed. “Fine. Clear out the fanatics.”

“No,” she decided. “No more violence.”

“Then how do we get rid of them?” I asked. 

“We don’t,” she said calmly. “Russell does. I’ll get Jordan, he’s in the tavern.” 

She reappeared not long after, Jordan in tow and ready to set whatever plan she had into action. Clarke led him towards Russell’s quarters, not caring at all that she was interrupting the believers’ sacred prayer time, and Indra, Miller and I followed them. 

“Relax,” she told them. “We’re just here to see Russell.” Clarke pulled a gun out of her waistband and handed it to Indra calmly. “You were going to search me? You wouldn’t be dumb enough to let someone take a _gun_ in to see your _God_ , right?”

I blinked. Knowing Clarke, she would never give up a gun that easily. Not unless she had another one. Smart move, but the believers would have to buy it. It reminded me of when I first visited Tondc on the day of Finn’s funeral. I had to shed all of my weapons and I still managed to sneak in a knife in case of emergencies. I mean, they found the knife after the chalice was poisoned, searching me for said poison, so it didn’t go entirely to plan… but it still reminded me of the incident all the same. 

“It’s okay,” Jordan reassured the man. “You can trust her.”

The man nodded, turning to his accomplices to let her past. We waited outside, and I heard the familiar sound of three separate locks clicking into place. I was unable to hear the conversation inside through the thick doors, and it was uncomfortable to be there with the believers but I stayed anyway, for Clarke. 

The door may have been thick, but it did nothing to drown out the faint scream of “For my mother!” that rang out from Clarke, and the sound of something smashing. Even through the frosted glass, I could see a faint orange glow emanating from inside the room. 

“Shit,” I cursed, pushing past the believers with Miller behind me. 

He banged on the glass, “Clarke! Open the door!” 

“Clarke!” I shouted, “Let me in!” I tried kicking the door but it wouldn’t budge. “Screw it,” I shook my head. “Everybody get back!” I pulled out a gun and aimed it at the glass, but I was met by a believer standing in my way. 

“This place is sacred!” He screamed. 

“This place is on fire, dumbass!” I knocked him unconscious and passed him over to Jordan, who was trying to usher the others out of the way. 

I raised my gun again but the door swung open and I breathed a sigh of relief as Clarke appeared, bringing a blood-soaked, but somehow alive, Russell Prime with her. Her right hand was covered in blood that could be his, but it could have also been her own as her knuckles split open. The fire raged behind them and I helped get some of the other believers out and open enough doors for them to transport water in to fight the fire. 

People were coughing and the blaze was raging as I covered my mouth and nose with my sleeve and moved to stand next to Emori. Clarke handed Russell off to Miller and walked to the front of the balcony, but not before she could knock one of the buckets of water out of someone’s hand with a pained expression on her face. “Let it burn,” she announced, getting everyone’s attention with the fire behind her as one hell of a backdrop. “Sanctum is free!” She shouted. “There are no kings, or queens, or Primes here! We have no use for a palace! We are the last of the human race, and we’ve all made mistakes. Tomorrow, Russell Prime dies for his.” 

The Children of Gabriel let out screams in response, finally happy with the outcome and I watched as Clarke descended the stairs, her jacket flowing out behind her and the flames burning to the other side. 

I let out a whistle, “Is it weird that I found that one hell of a turn-on?” 

Emori shook her head, “Nope, I feel it too.” 

“I’m standing _right_ here,” Murphy reminded her. 

I turned to look at him and frowned, “Are you wearing one of those spa robe things?”

He tightened the cord around his waist, “Maybe.” 

Behind us, the palace collapsed in on itself.


	2. Fix It, Or It's Another Goddamn Apocalypse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Will I be seeing you there? In hell, I mean." 
> 
> "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I'd like to remind that this contains SERIES SEVEN SPOILERS!!
> 
> ***SPOILERS***
> 
> SPOILERS!!!!
> 
> Okay, I think I've said that enough times. Don't come at me if you've managed to ignore that. :)

I spotted Clarke and Gaia and as I walked over to them with Indra, I noticed Clarke finishing covering a small hole in the ground with dirt. _Her father’s ring on her mother’s necklace._

“Preparations must be made. It’s time to talk to Russell,” Indra announced once we arrived. 

Clarke nodded and Gaia stood up, following us back to Sanctum. I put an arm around Clarke, giving her half a hug as we walked. “How are you holding up?” 

“If last night’s anything to go by…” she trailed off, referring to the fact that she had burnt down the palace. “But I’ll get there.” 

“Listen,” I comforted her. “You know I’m always here if you need me. If you want someone to talk to, someone to just listen, or if you need someone to match you shot for shot down at the tavern, okay?” 

The last one prompted a small smile and I was glad to have been able to cheer her up slightly, even if it was just for a moment. “Thanks, Lyss. Once we’ve executed Russell and finished rebuilding Sanctum… maybe then I’ll take you up on that drink.” 

“I’ll hold you to that,” I nudged her playfully. “By the way, I know you already know this but I’m gonna remind you anyway: whatever happens out there with Russell today, I got your back. Always.” 

She nodded, “I know.” 

We arrived at the main area of the compound, where there was somehow less chaos than usual, but still nothing like peace. The Eligius crew were in their tents in a large clearing in the centre, occasionally straying from the area only to the tavern for more Jo Juice, and the believers were most likely plotting to free Russell as the Children of Gabriel helped organise his execution. 

You know, politics.

Indra opened the door for Clarke to walk in and I shut it behind us, leaving the three of us alone in the room with Russell. 

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Russell smiled.

Clarke took the lead, already knowing what she wanted to say. “Don’t play innocent. We know your people have been in to see you.”

“I can hardly turn them away if they show up,” he replied calmly. 

“That won’t be a problem for much longer,” Indra announced, sliding up a cool exterior to hide the fact that she could barely stand to be in the same room with him. “Your execution is at sunset. We’ll give you the respect of choosing how you die.”

Russell glanced over at Clarke with an expression I couldn’t recognise, “You should’ve just finished the job last night.”

“I can finish it right now,” I suggested with a fake smile, glaring at him and patting the dagger at my side.

“We can make it quick,” Clarke assured him, sending me a look that told me to step back.

“Why would I want that?” he asked. “To my followers, this would be the death of a god.” Russell stopped as the lights flickered, pausing until they all went out. “Like a sign from above. I’ll take the pyre.”

Clarke took a step closer, “Last night you _begged_ me to save you from the flames.”

“And now you want to make it quick so you can pretend you’re still civilised. No, my people need to feel my death, and so do you.” 

“Very well,” Indra cut in before he could say anything else. “Fire it is.” 

We turned to go, but not before I could whirl back around dramatically (because why whirl around at all if it’s not with dramatics?) and smile even sweeter than before at the murderer that is Russell Prime. “Enjoy burning in hell,” I sent him a mock salute and turned it into giving him the bird at the end. “Emphasis on the _burning_ part.”

“Will I be seeing you there?” he raised an eyebrow, “In _hell_ , I mean.” 

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I replied with a fake smile as I shut the door behind me. 

When we emerged, there was a crowd of Children of Gabriel screaming their slightly overused catchphrase, “Death to Primes!” 

~

Raven walked past, on her way to see Emori and Murphy and I joined her. She led the way, interrupting whatever they were about to be doing as she pushed open the unlocked door and announced herself. “Good morning.”

Murphy flopped down onto the bed next to Emori, rolling his eyes. “Damn it, Raven. Six years of you walking in on us in space and you still can’t knock. It’s incredible, really.”

Raven shrugged, “You’d think you could lock a door.”

I snorted, “Hey Raven, this almost reminds me of that time when I walked in on you and B—”

She raised a hand to shut me up, “We’re not going to talk about that.” 

“That image is burned into my retinas, by the way. You’re lucky there are no therapists in Sanctum or I’d be recounting that horrific trauma,” I laughed. 

Emori grinned, “Walked in on Raven and _who_?”

“Bell—” 

She cut me off again, “Now is not the time for that.”

Murphy’s eyes widened in shock, “When the hell did you have sex with Bellamy Blake?” 

“I am going to kill you for this, Alyssa. I hope you know that,” she glared at me. 

Emori sighed, changing the topic, “So what’s up?”

“Clearly not the reactor,” Raven replied. “Power’s out all over Sanctum. Get dressed, time to prove how much you were paying attention on the ring.” And with that, she left to wait outside. 

Murphy was looking at me weirdly and I pulled a face, “What?”

“When did you walk in on Raven having sex with _Bellamy_?” he finally asked. 

I rolled my eyes, laughing, “If I told you, Raven might murder me.” 

~

Once Emori was dressed, we got to Ryker’s machine shop as quickly as we could, which was where the reactor was stationed. An alarm was blaring out from inside and Raven was the first to input the codes to get into the main control centre. 

“James?” she called out, but didn’t receive an answer. Raven tapped on the controls, “Core temperature’s up, coolant pressure’s down. Where the hell is James?”

“I’d like to announce that I’m just here as an extra pair of hands, and I’m not gonna understand half of what you’re saying,” I reminded them. “So tell me what you need.” I looked around, “Hey, is that door supposed to be open?”

Raven and Emori shared a look before the former made her way in first, “Come on.”

I followed them inside, waiting as Emori picked up a Geiger-counter (that’s pretty much the extent of my knowledge) and checked the radiation levels. “Normal,” she announced. 

“James!” Raven shouted again. 

“Over here,” Emori tugged her over to one side where there were pipes, two of which seemed to have burst. 

Raven groaned, “That’s bad.” 

“Here the radiation is elevated,” Emori warned. 

I paused, “Wait, should you be going any further? Me and Emori are nightbloods, so it might not be safe for you.”

Raven passed a hand through the steam coming from one of the pipes, “This is just water from the coolant system, but if radiation is leaking, it must be coming from the core.” she peered through the door and cursed. 

“What is it?” Emori pushed past her to look through the door and reached for the handle, but she was stopped by Raven. “We need to help them!” she pleaded.

“No, it’s too late. Look at them,” Raven sighed. “He must have pulled the control rod too fast, the spike in radiation would be lethal.”

I got a look in, and it wasn’t pretty. James’ face was basically melted off completely and he lay on the floor dead with a girl next to him. “Shit, that isn’t good. Judging by the warning alarms we have more problems?” 

Raven returned to the monitoring control desk with all the dials on. “If the core temperature reaches fifteen-hundred degrees then the reactor melts down. We’ll all die.” 

I groaned, “Just what we need, the risk of another fucking apocalypse. And here I thought we were finally… yeah, I’m not even convincing myself at this point.”

“Get Clarke, Murphy and Indra. We need a plan,” she replied, and Emori and I nodded before jogging out the door. 

~

I grabbed Clarke by the arm and pulled her away from whatever meeting she was having to talk to her. Indra sighed, “Whatever it is, we can wait. We have bigger problems.” 

“Bigger problems than _another_ nuclear apocalypse?” I raised an eyebrow, and both Clarke and Indra fell silent. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. We have an issue; the reactor is leaking radiation and if the temperature goes higher than a certain level then that shit’s gonna blow. Raven knows how to fix it, but we need the manpower, and we need a plan, and we need to go _now._ Unless you fancy watching Sanctum succumb to something like Praimfaya…”

Clarke put a hand against her forehead, “Déjà vu…” 

“Like I said: new world, same problems,” Indra announced. I don’t think I was there when she said it the first time, but it definitely applied in this situation. I brought them with me towards the machine shop at the same time as Emori arrived with Murphy. 

“Good, you’re here,” Raven noticed without looking up from where she was annotating a diagram of the reactor. 

Murphy looked around cautiously, “Shouldn’t we be wearing hazmat suits or something?”

“You are _adorable._ Those literally do nothing against gamma rays,” Raven pointed out. “Eligius three knew that, which is why they don’t have any. What they did have is nightblood, and so do you. You’re a Prime now, Murphy. Act like one.”

“Get to the point,” Indra reminded her. 

Raven stood up to explain it, pointing at the diagram. “Here’s the deal, the core’s overheating. One of the control rods that slows the nuclear reaction down is jammed in the up position and won’t drop down into the core. Because of that, it’s getting too hot, and because of _that_ , the coolant pipe has burst in two places. If the core temperature reaches fifteen hundred degrees, the reactor will meltdown, and it’s bye-bye Sanctum.” 

Clarke sighed, folding her arms. “So how do we stop it?”

“We push in the control rods, plug the cracks, we’re good,” she replied. 

Indra added, “Just that simple.” 

“I like you,” Raven nodded at her. “Someone has to go into primary containment to get the control rods in place. It’s a high radiation environment. nightblood’s not a guarantee, but it will help.”

Clarke shrugged, “I’ll do it,” at the same time as Murphy pointed at her nonchalantly and answered, “She’ll do it,” with a similar facial expression. 

They paused, looking at each other and causing Murphy to roll his eyes, “What? Like that was even a question?” I had to admit, he had a point. Clarke would have volunteered either way.

Indra shook her head, “Clarke, you have your hands full with Russell’s execution.”

“Okay,” she sighed. 

Raven agreed, “Right. Murphy, you’re B-team. Emori will handle the control rods, but she only has sixty seconds. If she doesn’t get it done, you take over. Lyss, you’re with me, and Wonkru can handle the pipes.”

“Alyssa said radiation is leaking, what kind of danger am I sending my people into?” Indra asked carefully. 

“It’s the puking for a few days kind,” Raven assured her. “If they’re exposed, they’ll recover. If the core melts down, we won’t.”

Clarke interjected, “Why don’t we ask the Eligius crew? They were miners, they have the skills.” 

“No offence, but I’m not willing to put the lives of what’s left of the human race in the hands of a bunch of murderers and thieves who were torturing me and Shaw and willing to kill the rest of us before destroying the earth. I need a team of four from the bunker’s maintenance crew.”

Indra gave in, “You’ll have them. Four Wonkru welders coming right up.” She walked out and gathered all the people in the bottom floor of the shell of the charred former-palace. Once everyone was there, she began to explain the situation. “We need four volunteers to help with the reactor. It’s dangerous, but your Commander wills it. Who will answer her call?”

There were murmurs of the crowd, but no one volunteered. A man from Sangedakru spoke up, “And where is the Commander?”

“She has other matters to handle,” Indra replied calmly. “But I have her complete authority.”

The man stepped forwards, “I think you’re lying.” I felt Clarke tense up next to me. “I think she abandoned us. Something happened on that ship and she hasn’t been the same since we reached the ground.”

“You question the will of your Commander?” Indra accused him. 

“I question you,” he retorted. “If the Commander wants volunteers, let her tell us herself.” 

Indra took a deep breath, “Alright. I’ll go get her. But you will answer for your disobedience.” 

She began to march out but Clarke blocked her way, “Indra, no. We talked about this. People could die. We can’t put that on Madi.” 

“You two treat her like she is just a child. She is not. It is time you let her do her job for all of us,” Indra snapped. 

“Madi is not well, you can use her name but that’s it,” Clarke protested. “No way am I letting her stand in front of these people and order them into a nuclear reactor.”

I sighed, “She is just a kid! Why do we need a Commander anyway? You didn’t have one in the bunker, and it’s not like we’re fighting a war.” 

“In the bunker,” Indra paused. “We had Blodreina. What would you have us do? We need volunteers. Without them, she dies too, when that reactor melts down.” 

“We tell them the truth,” Gaia decided. 

Indra whirled on her, “Don’t be a fool, Gaia.”

“Have some faith in our people, mother!”

“I know our people.”

The man from before spoke up again, “Why the delay?”

Gaia pulled herself away from Indra and faced them. “We cannot ask the Commander because there is no Commander.” _Bad idea._ “She had fallen prey to Sheidheda. The Dark Commander took her over and I could _not_ let that monster lead Wonkru, so I destroyed the flame.” 

“That monster was Sangedakru’s greatest champion. You had no right!” The man shouted.

“I had every right,” Gaia replied, narrowing her eyes at him. “I am the _fleimkepa_.” 

“You _were_ the _fleimkepa_. You’ve sinned against us all. You’re a traitor.”

“Knight, please,” Gaia pleaded with him. “We spent six years together in the bunker without a Commander. The flame might be gone, but we are still here. We are still one people, and we are _all_ in danger. Who will be brave enough to help us?”

He shook his head, “Sangedakru, we’re done here.” They began to walk away.

I groaned, making a decision and walking towards the centre of the room. I’m no Bellamy Blake, but I had to have picked up _something_ from one of his motivational speeches. “Alright,” I started. “You want the Commander? Why? If she was still the Commander, she would only repeat the same things that Indra told you. Do you really want to waste everyone’s time with pointless accusations? This problem isn’t lethal,” I lied. “But it could be, if you waste your time arguing. Do you want to be the reason this place goes up in flames, because you couldn’t spare four volunteers to help with the welding maintenance? We lost earth, do you really want to risk Sanctum too? We have another shot, and you are willing to give it all away for the sake of splitting up back into your old clans because you’re _angry._ Gaia’s right, Wonkru survived in the bunker without a Commander. You didn’t need one then, and you don’t need one now. But what we do need is four goddamn volunteers.”

Sangedakru left anyway, and Clarke walked over to put a hand on my shoulder. “You tried, at least. That counts for something.” 

“I was kind of hoping to have picked up _something_ from one of Bellamy’s motivational speeches, but I guess not,” I shrugged. “I mean, I’ve never welded anything before, but if someone showed me how then I wouldn’t mind doing it.” 

I spotted Raven on the stairs and took the steps two at a time to meet her. She glanced at the Eligius crew outside their tents below us and sighed. “Am I gonna regret this? Maybe. Are we all gonna die if I don’t? Definitely.” I wasn’t sure if she was talking to me or not, so I followed her anyway without saying anything as we made our way down the stairs and across the gravel towards their tents. “Hey! Hatch, right? I’m Raven.” she called two of them over. One of which I recognised from the first altercation inside the palace between the Eligius crew, the Children of Gabriel and the believers.

“I’m Alyssa,” I added with a shrug. 

“Yeah, I remember…” he looked Raven up and down, “McCreary’s guests. Boy, I do not miss that jackass.” _Okay, this dude might be alright. I kinda like him._

The lady next to him with the blonde half-braid hummed, “He wouldn’t have settled for a squatters camp.” _Her? Not so much._

Hatch rolled his eyes at her and smiled before turning back to us, “You lost or something?”

“I could use some help, and your people have the skills,” Raven told him. 

He looked at the blonde woman, raising his eyebrows suggestively. “Would you look at that? Sounds a lot like respect to me.” 

“Try indentured servitude,” she replied with a sigh, looking Raven up and down. “You ain’t the only smart one around here, honey.”

Raven forced a smile, “It’s a simple job. Just welding a couple cracks on the reactor’s coolant pipe.” 

“The _nuclear_ reactor?” the woman frowned. 

“Yeah, it’s fairly routine,” Raven lied. “The equipment’s a couple hundred years old, so just needs some love.”

Hatch scoffed, “Some love, huh? From where I sit, love is dangerous…” He grinned at the blonde again. 

“Like I said,” confirmed Raven. “It’s routine.” 

“Nope, you said ‘fairly routine’,” he called her out.

She rolled her eyes, “The pipe’s in second containment. It’s nowhere near the reactor. I just need four people who know their way around welding.” 

“Relax,” I sighed. “The only real danger occurs if we leave this problem for too long.”

“What’s in it for us?” the woman asked. 

Raven glared at her, “Why does there need to be something in it for you? It needs to be done.”

“I’d do it myself, but since I’ve never welded anything in my life that makes me more of a hazard than a solution,” I shrugged. 

“How about…” Hatch pondered for a second before suggesting, “All the Jo Juice that we can drink?”

“Deal,” I answered. “As long as you leave some for me? I could use a drink.” 

He laughed, “Sounds like a plan. What the hell? We’re in.” 

“That’s what I like to hear.”

“Not me,” the woman shrugged. “You have fun, sugar, and I’ll be waiting for you in the penthouse tent.” 

Raven shrugged, “Grab your guys and follow us.” 

Hatch nodded, turning around and shouting, “X, Y and Z, follow me.” 

_Let’s go save Sanctum_ , I sighed to myself. _And preferably not die trying._

~

Raven looked at the team, before announcing: “We can’t wait any longer, fifty more degrees and we’re toast. Is everyone clear on what they’re doing?” 

“Crystal,” Hatch replied. 

Emori nodded, “We get the control rods in place, then head to decontamination.” 

“And we weld the cracks in the pipe,” Hatch confirmed. “That radiation still clear?” 

“All clear,” Raven smiled at him. “Good luck.” 

Before I could stop myself, I announced, “Be careful, don’t die.” 

“Gotcha,” Murphy nodded. 

Hatch glanced at me, raising an eyebrow, “Why would we die?” 

“If you knew me, you’d know how much I say that,” I replied off-handedly. 

Raven pressed a few buttons and the monotonous voice of the computer announced “Secondary containment clear” as the door swung open and the four Eligius men stepped inside. Murphy pushed off from where he was leaning against the other side of the control panel and waltzed over as I watched the welding begin out of the corner of my eye. _Please don’t die_ , I couldn’t help but think. 

“You lied to them?” Murphy asked Raven, keeping his voice low. 

“I told them what they needed to know,” was all she answered. “It’s an easy job, I could do it in my sleep.”

He raised an eyebrow, “Then why don’t you?”

“Shut up, Murphy,” she snapped. “Either they’re sick for a few days, or we’re dead forever.”

“There’s four of them, they can do this,” I assured them unconvincingly. “Besides, they’re not the ones going into primary containment. Although maybe we should’ve tried giving them nightblood as a precaution?”

“Takes too long to kick in,” Raven reminded us. “By the time it’s pumping fully around their systems we could have reached core meltdown. I already considered it.”

Murphy hesitated, “Still—”

He got interrupted almost immediately, “Just go do your job of being Emori’s moral anchor,” Raven snapped. 

Emori glared at them exasperatedly, “Can we not fight now?” She made her way over to primary containment with Murphy and left Raven and me at the control panel. 

Raven watched them nervously before turning back to the dials and the screen in front of her with the camera footage of the reactor on it. “Come on, Emori,” she whispered. “You got this.” She turned around and raised her voice, “Let’s go!” Murphy opened the door and Emori went in and allowed him to shut it behind her. Raven pressed the comms button and spoke through the speakers in the core containment room. “Go on Emori, you got this. As soon as all the rods are down, the reaction will flow and the core temperature will go down.” 

I took a deep breath and watched as she tried to remove the wrench that was holding one of the rods up, groaning as she pulled to no avail, gritting her teeth as it remained wedged in place. 

“Skip that one for now, just get the others!” Raven told her and my hand gripped the edge of the table as I watched. _I should be in there with them._ I shut the thought down instantly, _No. They got this. Emori can do this._

Emori moved on to the next one, lowering it slowly and waiting as it clicked into place. She did the second more easily, used to it now and then moved onto the third, returning to the last one that was wedged in place. I could faintly hear Murphy’s cry of “Ten seconds! You gotta get out of there!” as she lifted it higher to pull out the wrench and slot the rod into place, finishing just as the counter hit zero. “Time!” Murphy shouted. 

I pressed the comms button, “Emori! Get out of there now!” She opened the door and fell through into the containment four seconds overtime. “Get to decontamination,” I shouted. 

The temperature continued to climb. “Damn it!” Emori cursed, “We need the coolant line fixed!” I breathed a sigh of relief as Murphy caught her after a wave of dizziness and led her to the decontamination showers. 

Sparing a glance towards the four welders, I watched in dismay as they sealed a split and another opened from the pressure. Hatch jumped backwards and swore at the new development, calling out to Raven through the comms panel. “The coolant pressure’s too high! You need to reroute it.” 

“We can’t,” she shook her head. “We need it to control the core temp. We’re twenty degrees from finding out what comes after death and I’d rather not know.” 

“Me neither,” he replied. 

Emori and Murphy emerged from decontamination and came over to the control desk. “Any change?” 

“The temperature’s still rising,” Raven sighed. 

Emori opened her mouth to say something else but ended up bending double as she puked onto the floor, grabbing hold of Murphy to keep her upright. “You wanted forever,” she joked, glancing at the floor and the specs of vomit on his shoes. 

“Still do,” he reassured her. “Come on, sit down.” Murphy led her to the stool at the side and stood next to her, keeping a hand on her shoulder like he was afraid what would happen if he let go. “How much time do we have?”

Raven replied quietly, “At this rate? Not long enough.” 

“Come on, Reyes. You always have a plan, what do we need to do?” I prompted.

“Get in there and help,” Murphy told her. “Raven, you’re the queen of doing the impossible, right? I’ll spin the dials.”

“I’m not just turning dials,” she snapped at him. “I’m controlling the flow of coolant. One mistake and—” Raven was cut off as Murphy collapsed to his knees, keeling over and puking out more than should be humanly possible and swearing profusely once he was done. Raven watched in horror, “Crap.”

“Oh yeah, that makes me feel so much better,” Murphy scowled at her. 

I handed him a piece of fabric to wipe his mouth, tearing it from the bottom of my shirt. “This shouldn’t be happening. Raven, why is this happening? He didn’t even go into the core with her!”

“Raven…” Emori looked at her worriedly, “What’s going on?”

She faltered, “If he’s getting sick, that means more radiation is leaking than I thought.”

One of the welders collapsed and the others rushed to his aid. It hit me, “They’re going to die.” 

“We have to pull them out of there,” Murphy protested. 

As if on cue, Hatch appeared at the door and pressed the comms button, “Hey. What the hell is happening? My guys are getting sick” 

_You’re going to die,_ is what we should’ve told them. Instead, Raven took a deep breath and replied, “It’s just the xenon gas making you dizzy. Don’t worry, it’s just a by-product of nuclear fission.” She turned back to us, making sure our end of the comms switch was off. “No. They’re almost done.”

“They’re going to die and it’ll be your fault!” I snapped. 

“Raven, you can’t leave them in there to die,” Emori pleaded.

I confirmed, “And they _are_ going to die.” 

“They’re already dead,” she replied quietly. 

“Raven, you really need to think about—” Murphy tried to reason with her but he was cut off.

“Enough.” She shot at him. “If we pull them out, we all die. They can still do it.” 

Emori shook her head, begging. “Then _tell_ them!”

“You think we can rely on those guys to do the right thing when they know they’re gonna die?” Raven asked incredulously. 

I sighed, “You won’t know unless you give them the chance. Shit, Hatch has a _wife._ Are you really gonna be the one to tell her that the ‘routine work’ you lied about got him killed? Are you gonna talk about ‘sacrificing the few to save the many’? Because to me, that sounds a hell of a lot like Jaha.” 

“Hey, my team’s almost out of nitrogen,” Hatch informed us through the comms. 

“I’ll get you another tank. How close are you?” Raven asked him. 

“We’re almost there on one, but I can’t get my patch to hold, I need you to lower the pressure—” 

She snapped, “I told you I can’t. The temperature will spike.” 

“Damn it!” He cursed. “Just— just get me another nitro.” 

Emori’s eyes fluttered and she slumped against the wall. Murphy ran over to her and brushed a piece of hair out of her face, trying to keep her awake. Raven dismissed it, “Nightblood metabolises radiation, she’ll be fine. Just get this tank of nitrogen to Hatch.” 

I put a hand on his shoulder, “I got her, don’t worry.” 

“Murphy!” Raven snapped. “If you don’t and that core melts down then not even nightblood will save you.”

He nodded at me and I moved Emori from the stool to the floor in case she fell, “This bit’s not gonna be fun for you,” I sighed. “Radiation’s a bitch, but the guys will pull through and we’ll be alright.” I wiped her forehead with another piece of my shirt, reminding myself to get a new one before the end of the day. 

Murphy plugged in the code and walked in to Hatch with the nitrogen. Raven closed the door behind him. “I may not be able to rely on them,” she muttered. “But you’d do anything to save your own ass.” 

_“Secondary containment sealed,”_ the computer announced, and I shot up to see what was going on. 

He turned around, looking at her through the window. She pressed the comms, “Go be a cockroach.” 

Before I could say to her “Raven, what the _fuck_?”, Emori let out a groan and slumped to the side. I pulled her back into an upright seated position and watched her out of the corner of my eye, looking at Raven at the control panel. 

“Here’s the situation,” Raven told Hatch and Murphy through the comms, the only welders left conscious as one of the others keeled over and retched. “The temperature is fourteen hundred and ninety degrees. Ten degrees from meltdown. _Weld faster._ ” 

“Fourteen ninety-two!” Raven warned them. 

“Columbus sailed the ocean blue,” Hatch shot back and I rolled my eyes. 

“Fourteen ninety-four!” 

I jumped up and moved next to Raven, watching the indicator move up as it got increasingly closer to the zone marked “DANGER”, which was as comforting as always. My breathing sped up and I looked through the window at Murphy and Hatch, the latter of which was more likely than not about to die, even if the rest of us were goners once the reactor started to melt down. 

_Come on,_ I watched them. _Come on, Murphy…_

The indicator got as close as possible to the red zone before slowly going back down. I let out a breath, putting my elbows on the edge of the computer table and resting my head in my hands as I sucked air back into my lungs. 

“It worked,” Raven shouted to them in relief. “We’re gonna be okay. Now get out of there!” 

Hatch collapsed against the window, leaving a popped-blister stained handprint on the glass. “You’re welcome,” he told us right before he collapsed, lying on the ground as more radiation-caused blisters appeared on his face and blood leaked from his nose and mouth. 

Murphy knelt down next to Hatch and shook his head. 

_Dead._

_Another dead._

Once the radiation levels inside secondary containment had subsided, and the door could be opened without threatening anyone else who came in, I helped Murphy move the bodies out into the control centre. We left Hatch for last, lowering him down and closing the eyes of those who weren’t already closed. _Yu gonplei ste odon._

_Dead._

We should’ve told them the truth. 

_Dead._

I ran a hand through my hair, shedding my jacket to cool myself down. “We should’ve told them it was a goddamn suicide mission.” 

Raven stared at Hatch, uttering the first words since the near-meltdown as she fanned herself, sweating profusely and backing away as she sank onto the ground. “Oh god,” she whispered. “I did this.” 

“Yeah, you did,” Murphy sighed, pushing up from the ground. “How the mighty have fallen.” He looked down on her before returning to Emori’s side as she recovered. “Welcome to the world of grey.” 

“What the hell is taking so long?” Hatch’s wife burst in, faltering as soon as she saw the bodies. She fell silent, her gaze resting on Raven. “You said this was safe.” Raven nodded, tears filling her eyes. “He trusted you.” She lunged at her, throwing her against the machine shop door. “Liar!” The woman landed punch after punch until I could finally get in between them and push them apart, holding each at arm’s length. 

“Enough!” I snapped, turning to the woman. “I’ve had blood alteration. I should’ve been in there instead of him, and I wasn’t. If you want to hate someone, hate me.” 

“Murderer!” she screeched, going for Raven again and beating me when I put myself in the way. “You should both die for this! I’m gonna kill you!” I refused to move. Even when she managed to get around me and threw Raven onto the ground, I tackled her, wrestling her away and letting her take her anger out on me instead. 

Murphy and Emori tried to pull her off, “I know how you feel,” he pleaded with her. “But this changes nothing!” 

“Stop!” Emori grabbed one of her arms but the woman kicked her away, punching Murphy in the stomach and throwing me to the side as she rounded on Raven again, repeatedly hitting her in the face. 

She raised her fist again and I caught it, pushing Raven out the way. “You seem pretty hell-bent on taking this,” she spat. 

“It’s as much my fault as it is hers,” I wiped my face and my hand came away bloody. “It’s as much my fault as it is hers.” 

Raven lay limp on the floor, with Emori on one side trying to get to her feet and Murphy staggering up and holding the desk for support. There were only a few more punches until I began to lose consciousness, the last thing I saw was two other Eligius men dragging her off before my eyelids closed and I slumped down next to Raven after being relieved of the weight of the other woman. 

“Traitors!” She screamed. “They killed him!” Hatch’s wife’s voice echoed in my mind even after I was out. _Murderers._

~

When I woke up, I was back in my bed at the farmhouse and to say I was in pain would be the understatement of the century. I moved my arm and winced. My shoulder was swollen from behind pushed into a desk, a wound on my forehead from a few days ago had reopened and since been stitched back up, one of my eyes refused to focus because it was half swollen shut and when I opened my mouth to ask Raven why she was sitting at the foot of my bed, her arm in a temporary sling and her face looking just as bad as mine, I closed it again to avoid the unnecessary pain. 

Raven looked up as I grunted, trying to get a feel of the worst areas of damage. Her eyes were dark when she made eye contact with me. “Why did you do it? She could’ve killed you and she was ready to kill me.” 

“Exactly,” I coughed, wincing. “You’re going to hate yourself for this. You’re going to beat yourself up about it over and over again. You don’t need her to beat you up too.”

“You shouldn’t have done that,” she replied quietly.

“Funny,” I sighed. “I don’t remember you being able to tell me which of my stupid decisions I’m allowed to act on. My choices are my own, Raven. I meant what I said: It _was_ as much my fault as it was yours.”

She shook her head, wincing from the effort. “It wasn’t.”

“Raven, I was there when you recruited them and I was there when they died. I could’ve gone in instead, or relieved any of them, but I didn’t. You knew it was dangerous, but you had no idea that the amount of radiation leaking had increased so much that it would kill them.” I looked at her, “Raven, you didn’t know. Besides, you're important. We need you here. I can afford to get beaten half to death, but you need to keep this place running.”

Raven stood up and left, leaving me alone in the room. 

How ironic is it that the best, most-nightmare-free sleep I’ve had recently is the one I got while unconscious, after getting beaten up. 

I had a feeling I might be seeing four new radiation-killed faces in my dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note I'm gonna publish each new chapter probably on the Saturday after each episode airs from now on, I think. Hopefully, I'll keep to the schedule. I'm also starting a new Bellarke fic to take my mind off what else I want to write on this so that I stick to said schedule. Might wait a week before publishing the next chapter because I'm not sure which storyline I want Alyssa to follow.


	3. Sanctum In Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I wasn't joking about gutting you."

I came down the stairs slowly as every bone in my body felt like the tree that Bellamy hit with the truck a hundred and thirty years ago back on earth. (I have decidedly stuck to my promise about never letting him live that down, better driver my ass.) 

“Why can I smell smoke?” I wrinkled my nose as I entered the farmhouse’s small kitchen to find all of the windows open, a cool breeze blowing through in an attempt to get rid of the smell of burning. Madi was sitting at the kitchen counter, staring accusatively at her empty breakfast plate and Murphy was fanning a small contraption on the side. 

“Murphy’s trying to burn down the kitchen,” Madi explained. 

“I am _cooking_ ,” he countered indignantly. “Apparently _someone_ has been telling everyone that I can cook, and the kid was beginning to doubt my talents.”

I shrugged, “ _Someone_ heard you could cook and has been waiting over a century for you to get the hint and prove it. Why is the kitchen on fire?”

“The kitchen _was_ on fire. Slightly, and in past tense. I found this in the not-burnt part of the castle and thought I’d pay you guys a visit. It’s called a waffle iron. It doesn’t come with instructions, but it’s pretty self-explanatory.” 

Madi raised an eyebrow, “If it was that self-explanatory, then why did you set the kitchen on fire?” 

“I didn’t set the kitchen on fire!” he snapped back defensively, scowling at her. 

I scoffed, “You literally admitted to the kitchen being on fire two seconds ago.” 

“You’re not a valid witness, you just got here,” Murphy rolled his eyes.

I turned to Madi, “Mads, did Murphy set the kitchen on fire?” 

“Absolutely,” she grinned. 

“Snitch,” he muttered under his breath.

Indra walked past, grabbing a juice from the countertop with a sigh. “What is it with people in this family and their intent on burning down buildings?”

“I obviously didn’t do it on purpose!” Murphy groaned.

I struggled to hide my grin, “So you _do_ admit to setting the kitchen on fire.”

“I hate you. All of you. None of you are getting any waffles.”

I snorted, ducking my head and grinning even though the action pulled one of the bruises on the side of my face. Murphy looked up for a moment, with an almost apologetic look on his face and it worried me slightly. “What’s up?” I frowned, trying to figure out what he was thinking. 

He sighed, “Lyss, I know this dream is more preferable than the ones you’re used to having, but you gotta wake up now. Sorry.” He threw a waffle at my face and I closed my eyes before it made contact, opening them again as I sat up in bed. 

_Dream._

I shrugged, dream-Murphy was right, it was a lot more preferable than the nightmares I’m used to. Too bad I couldn’t stay in it for a _little_ longer, if only to taste his waffles. Why the hell did I have to wake up? It was still dark out, but the house was completely quiet. It didn’t feel right. 

_Something was wrong._

The thought sidelined any hope I had of getting back to sleep. I couldn’t tell what had caused the suspicion, maybe it was the fact that for the first time in over a hundred fucking years I had managed to get a decent night of non-cryo-induced sleep, and my body was rejecting it? No. That wasn’t it. Something was definitely wrong. 

I checked the clock on the side of the bed. _00:00._ Wonderful, maybe that could explain the silence? No. There’s always someone awake. There’s always something making noise. Whether it’s Miller’s snores— thin walls, I can hear _everything_ that goes on in his and Jackson’s shared bedroom, even though I wish I couldn’t— or Clarke pacing in the middle of the night, or Indra waking up routinely and going on patrol because she still couldn’t fathom the possibility of us being safe in the slightest (which is completely understandable). 

There was never a moment of quiet in the farmhouse. Even at bloody midnight, there still wasn’t silence. 

It was unnerving. 

It was unsettling. 

It was _wrong._

I winced as I stood up, crossing to the dresser to change into some of the clothes Delilah had let me borrow (the only clothes on this moon that actually seemed to somewhat suit my style) and pull on my jacket, stocking it with more knives. I grabbed my boots, lacing them up and putting my hair in a ponytail before I walked out of my room, closing the door quietly behind me and ignoring the fact that my footsteps were the only sound in the entire house. 

The first place I visited was Madi’s bedroom, just in case something had happened. She was sleeping soundly, and paid no attention to me as I closed the door again with a light sigh of relief. Next stop, Clarke’s bedroom. I wasn’t surprised to find it completely empty, with the sheets suggesting that she hadn’t slept in it at all. There was probably a problem in the centre of Sanctum, some Children of Gabriel turf war with the believers and the Eligius Crew again. I wasn’t as worried as I could have been. 

I knocked on Gaia’s door, but when there was no answer (and no noise from inside that suggested she was asleep) I opened it anyway to reveal that the room— like Clarke’s— was completely empty, and hadn’t been slept in in the slightest. This only confirmed the ‘turf war’ suspicion. Nothing to worry about. 

Instead of checking the other rooms, I went back to my own and pulled a pad from the dresser, scrawling on it ‘ _Gone to check something out, be back later — Lyss_ ’ for Madi, in case she woke up before I got back. I slid it under her door and treaded lightly down the wooden stairs, only pausing to lock the door before starting the walk to Sanctum. 

Just more Children of Gabriel and believers and Eligius love triangle over the land again, nothing to worry about. 

But I couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right.

~

I spotted Indra first, breaking into a jog to catch her. “Indra!” I shouted, catching up and falling into step beside her. “Where the hell is everyone?” 

She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye, “Good, you’re awake. Half of our friends and family have disappeared in an attempt to rescue Octavia, Bellamy and the others, with no idea when they’ll be back, and they left us here on Sanctum on the brink of a civil war with something that barely resembles an army. In other news, how was your nap?” 

“I was sleeping off a concussion,” I scowled. “But I’d rather have had someone wake me up.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind for next time,” she answered curtly as we descended the steps to meet Delilah’s parents. “What happened?”

“It’s the faithful,” her dad explained. 

I raised an eyebrow, “ _Who?_ ” at the same time as Indra asked, “Excuse me?” 

“It’s what the fools who still believe are calling themselves now,” Delilah’s mother elaborated. “They’ve barricaded themselves inside our tavern and are demanding to speak to Clarke.” 

“We’ve already spared Russell’s life, what do they want now?” Indra asked exasperatedly. 

Before they could answer, Nelson from the Children of Gabriel emerged from the side, joining the conversation. “Indra, we need to talk about Russell.” 

She sighed, “Get some sleep, Nelson. It’s late.” 

He lowered his voice, “Russell dies, and we don’t expose Kaylee and Daniel, that was our deal.” 

“Letting Russell live is how we keep the peace,” Indra reminded him. 

Nelson snapped slightly, “Keeping our deal is too.” 

Indra whirled around, “Are you threatening me?” 

I glared at him, “If you paint a target on my friends’ backs, I will gut you.” 

“If I was, what could you do about it without an army?” He pointed out. 

I could barely hide my laughter, “She doesn’t need an army. She has me.” 

“And what makes you so special?” He looked me up and down. 

“Special? No. Just willing to do what it takes to protect my family,” I smiled innocently at him as I slid a knife from my jacket and twirled it between my fingers. “What about you?” 

“Are you threatening _me_?” He echoed Indra’s words from a few moments earlier as he stared me down. 

I scoffed, taking a step closer to him, “Better hope not. Usually when I make threats, I follow through.” 

Nelson’s eyes strayed past us at a group of ‘the faithful’ as they came out of the tavern. He failed to hide his amusement, “This should be good.” 

Indra turned around to talk to them, rolling her eyes when the what’s-his-face, Ty? Tay? Something like that, frowned at her. “We asked for Clarke.” 

“You got me,” she replied blankly. “What do you want?” 

“On behalf of the faithful, I demand the release of Russell Prime,” he announced. 

Scratching my nose in an attempt to hide the amused smile spreading across my face, I raised an eyebrow at him. “He’s alive, that’s all you’re going to get.” 

“We already spared his life today,” Indra confirmed. “That’s as far as we’re willing to go. As you know, he ordered you to stand down.” 

“That was before he was shot.”

“Yes, by one of yours,” she reminded him. 

He shook his head, “Not ours. We are the Keepers of the Light. Russell Prime is a being of divine love, yet you keep him in chains like one of the prisoners you pollute our home with.” 

I heard Nelson let out a quiet chuckle in disbelief and I rolled my eyes. Russel Prime is a being of divine love? Actually, he’s a murdering dickhead who I’d very much like to stab. Or shoot. Or both. But that’s not exactly something I can really say in front of his most loyal— and misguided— followers without a risk of getting burned alive. And considering we don’t have that much of an army at the moment to keep the peace, my knives will have to do, making that a not-so-valid option. 

“All any of us wants is peace,” Indra said calmly, and I had to admire how well she was handling the situation. “Russell wants that too.” 

“We had peace before you arrived, and we won’t rest until we get back everything you’ve stolen from us.” 

Indra could handle it, but I had to physically restrain myself not to make a comment about how ‘peace’ and ‘being part of a murderous body-snatching cult’ didn’t seem to be two things that could happen simultaneously. 

“So you defy the will of your god?” She asked him. 

“No. We obey.” He replied frankly, and my eyes passed over to behind him, where a woman was standing and praying and wearing what at first glance appeared to be a wet white sheet. “We won’t take up arms against our enemies, but we will sacrifice our lives for him, one by one every hour until his release.” He announced. “Will you release Russell Prime?”

You’ve got to be kidding me? The fact that they would cause an uprising if he died is the only reason we’re keeping him alive? Killing themselves is kind of counterproductive because if they all died then we’d just kill him anyway?? “You’re joking, right?” I blinked, unable to wrap my head around the absurdity of the situation. “You realise that doing this basically condemns him?” 

“Don’t be a fool, Trey.” Indra warned him. Trey, _that’s_ his name. I knew it was something along those lines. “We can’t agree to those terms.” 

The woman behind him raised the candle in her hand and spread her arms out wide, “For the glory and the grace of the Primes!” She touched the flame to her presumably-oil-soaked clothing and went up in a blaze almost instantly. 

Nelson shrugged off his jacket, rushing over to her. “Get out of the way! Move!” He pushed through and tried to smother the fire but it was no use, by the time her screams died out the rest of her was still burning and Nelson’s hands were scorched by the flames. 

The rest of the crowd that had gathered— the ones that weren’t ‘faithful’— were in varying degrees of shock and when I looked over to Delilah’s mother she seemed to have gone through the five stages of grief in under two seconds. 

“One per hour,” Trey announced. “You try to take the tavern, and we all die at once.” 

“What happens if you all die?” I asked him, “What happens to your God then?” 

He smiled, “You won’t let that happen.” 

I rolled my eyes and pushed past him, grabbing Nelson as he winced, looking at his burnt hands. “Let’s get you to Jackson. What you tried to do… it was pretty damn noble, but she was dead the moment she picked up that candle, there was nothing you could’ve done. Come on,” I led him to medical. 

~

Back in the lab, I was surprised to see that Emori was still recovering from the radiation exposure in the reactor and as soon as I sent Nelson to Jackson, with two soldiers bringing up the rear soon after, carrying the body of the dead girl, I made my way over to her and Murphy. 

“How are you doing?” I asked sympathetically, hovering next to her chair. 

“I’m not a hundred percent yet, but I will be,” she reassured me. 

I glanced at Murphy for confirmation and he added, “That’s what Jackson said anyway. What about you? You look…” 

“Like shit?” I laughed, easing the tension. After my encounter with Hatch’s wife Nikki soon after his demise, I had been sporting a large black eye and numerous cuts and bruises on my forehead and cheeks, including a split lower lip. “Feel like it too, but that’s nothing new.” 

After examining the body, Jackson shook his head before announcing. “That’s another one for faith.” 

“Faith isn’t the problem,” Indra sighed. “Blind faith is.” 

I groaned, muttering quietly, “I’m beginning to think we should just send all the problematic people to the anomaly and hope they end up as someone else’s problem. Is that bad?” 

Murphy laughed as he was the only one to hear me, “I like the way you think.” 

Jackson finished checking over Nelson’s hands as Indra nodded at him with respect, something that surprised me. “That was a brave thing you did, Nelson.” 

“They may hate us, but they’re still our people,” he replied with an air of certainty. 

Emori frowned, “Even though you were cast out?” 

“What’s the matter Kaylee Prime? You forget we are one?” Nelson snapped at her. 

“Easy, big guy,” Murphy warned, stopping him from going any further. “If it wasn't for her, we’d all look like that girl you didn’t save right now.” 

“Exactly,” I lowered my voice so that only Nelson could hear. “I wasn’t joking about gutting you.” 

He raised an eyebrow at me, “I didn’t think so.”

“Minor burns,” Jackson cut through the tension. “Let me clean them up and get you something for the pain.” 

I ignored as the others made their way over to Russell, informing him about the situation, and instead pulled up a chair next to Murphy and Emori. “So were you guys told about the whole ‘our friends are in trouble on another planet’ situation? Because I found out less than twenty minutes ago and I’m kinda pissed at not being left in the loop.” 

“Some dude showed up earlier asking for Clarke, something about a war, and then everyone disappeared into the forest… and then Raven and Jordan went after them… and we haven’t heard anything since, so either they’re all screwed, or they have a plan and it’s working,” Murphy explained. "But we don't know which because we're preoccupied with all the drama here." 

I groaned, “I’m gonna hope they have a plan, because I have a feeling that this place needs guns more than they do at the moment, what with the whole Sanctum love triangle between the ‘faithful’, the Children of Gabriel and the Eligius crew. But if I hear anything bad then I’ll take one of those fancy-ass motorbikes and go kick some ass.”

Emori laughed, “Apparently the guys who showed up had these fancy suits on that made them invisible.” 

“Weird. I want one,” I sighed. 

Murphy smiled, “You know, I asked someone about those motorbikes? And what I got in response was ‘It’s easy, it’s just like riding a bike’. Like I grew up in space, do they really think I’ve ridden a regular bike?” 

I snorted, “Can’t be any harder than driving a rover.” 

“You driving a rover is a scenario in which everyone dies,” Murphy pulled a face and I scowled at him. 

“You say that, but I’ve had two successful missions in that rover,” I pointed out. 

Emori rolled her eyes, “And how many _unsuccessful_?” 

“That’s not important,” I glared at them, but I couldn’t help but laugh. “Besides, if I took one on a rescue mission my goal would be _maximum damage_ as a distraction tactic. Technically, I wouldn’t even need to know _how_ to ride for that to work.” 

Jackson returned, “I heard half of your conversation, and I’m going to stop you right there. That is a bad idea. Knowing you, it is an even worse idea than how you just made it out to be. Don’t do that. Under any circumstances,” he warned. 

I scoffed, “The day I met you, I flat out told you that I probably wasn’t going to take any of your medical advice. Why start now?”

“It’s official, you’re going to be the death of me,” he muttered, walking back over to Nelson as I laughed. 

Russell groaned loudly, bringing everyone’s attention in his direction. “Why would I tell my followers to kill themselves when they’re the only thing preventing you from killing me?” 

“In that case, maybe we let them,” Murphy shrugged, and all eyes in the room turned to him. “What? Am I the only one who sees this as a solution and not a problem? If the faithful are the only reason we’re keeping this son of a bitch alive, then I say we live and let die.”

I thought it over, ignoring everyone else’s horrified expression. “He has a point. I don’t want to see thirty-odd people burn to death, but if they’re all dead then we can just shoot Russell and be done with it.” 

“Or you could free me?” Russell offered. 

“We’ve been over that, pal. Not gonna happen,” I glared at him. 

He sighed, “Fine then. Send me in and I’ll talk them down… again.” 

“Last time you did that, you got shot,” I pointed out. 

Indra took charge, “No. From now on, _we_ dictate terms.” 

“Indra we can’t just let them burn themselves alive,” Jackson protested. 

“We won’t,” she resolved. “Russell isn’t the only Prime in Sanctum.” 

Once again, all eyes turned to Murphy and Emori. Emori used the arms of the chair to push herself to her feet, swaying dangerously in the second it took for Murphy to be by her side and support her. “I’m in,” she announced breathlessly, “I’ll do it.” 

“Emori, Emori—” Murphy guided her back to the chair. “You can barely walk.” 

“I’m fine, I’m okay,” she protested. 

“Sit… please,” he held onto her arm and she nodded slowly, giving in and sitting down. “Great doctoring, you said she was fine,” Murphy looked over to Jackson. 

He explained, “She will be. Recovery from radiation exposure doesn’t always progress in a straight line.” 

“And Murphy… how is he?” Indra cut in, presumably already with a plan in her head. 

“Cleared for duty,” Jackson replied with a smile. 

Murphy glanced down at Emori before pulling the fluid drip out of his arm with a sigh, “Fine, but the others better come back soon because I am getting tired of being the hero.” He stuck the piece of tape that had been holding the drip in on Jackson’s chest as he walked out. 

Emori looked up at me in concern, mouthing, “Watch his back?” 

I put a hand on her shoulder reassuringly as I replied, “Always,” before following Indra out the door. 

~

Indra was on one side and I was on the other as we walked Murphy towards the tavern. “You got this,” I whispered. 

He frowned, “Are you talking to me or yourself?”

“Bit of both,” I replied unconvincingly. 

We walked past the problematic Sangedakru warrior and he shot Indra a dirty look before shouting in Trig, _“Where is your army, Indra? Could it be no one wanted to help you lie to another people about their God?”_

“Tough crowd,” Murphy muttered. 

“We don’t need an army. We need you to do your job,” Indra sighed. 

Murphy shrugged, “Yeah, but gods love armies.” He caught her arm, “Listen, can at least ask if they’ll help?” 

“Relax, you’re not going inside,” Indra reminded him. 

I nudged him, “I’ve got your back, remember?”

“As reassuring as that is, I’d prefer if there were at least thirty more people who _also_ have my back,” he sighed. 

I rolled my eyes, “Stop.” 

“What?” Indra frowned, “We need to keep—” 

I cut her off, “Peace of mind.” I pulled out a knife from the sleeve of my jacket and nicked a small hole in the lining of the inside of his sleeve, slotting it inside. “Don’t lose it, and don’t get it out unless absolutely necessary. Are you happy now?” 

A nervous smile tugged the corner of his mouth, “A little.” 

“Anyone makes a move and I’ll shoot them myself,” Indra assured him, giving Murphy a gentle nudge in the direction of the tavern. 

I shrugged, “If I don’t get there first. Be careful, don’t die.” 

Indra got into position and I leant against the wall in a slightly more visible spot than she was in, balancing a knife on my hand. Murphy sighed, looking at the tavern for a moment before making his way over, “I got it.” 

He walked straight over to the door and knocked on it, looking back at us once before it opened. I sent him what I hoped was a reassuring look and proceeded to then glare at one of the faithful who walked past. 

“What are you doing here?” the short man scowled at me. 

I shrugged, “Doing recon, keeping you on your toes, all in a day's work.” 

He rolled his eyes and moved on, allowing me to read Trey’s lips as he answered the door with a look of surprise on his face. “Daniel Prime,” he blinked, trying to figure out what Murphy was doing there. “Uh, come in, please.” 

Trey reached for Murphy but he shrugged him off with an exasperated sigh, “Self-immolation, Trey? Really? Don’t you think that’s a tad excessive?” He glanced past the man in the doorway to look inside, and although I had a good view, I couldn’t see past him without moving and making my position even more obvious. Murphy’s voice dropped low, and I couldn’t make out what he was saying until it rose in a crescendo again. “Are you out of your _mind_?” he snapped, pushing past Trey and into the tavern. “Get out of my way.” 

The door shut behind him and I made my way over to Indra as she lowered her gun. “What now?” I whispered nervously. “I’m not letting him die in there.” 

“Neither am I,” Indra assured me. “But for all we know, everything could be going absolutely fine in there.” 

I shook my head, moving towards the door. “I’m going in.” 

Indra grabbed my arm, hauling me back around the corner and lowering her voice. “And risk bringing more attention to the fact that he isn’t Daniel?”

“He’s family. If anything happens to him then I’ll kill them.” 

“I don’t doubt it,” Indra replied calmly. “But for now, the best thing for Murphy is that we _wait._ Play our cards right, and we won’t have to engage.” 

I shot her a look, “You better be right, or I’m crashing through that window faster than you can say ‘for the glory and grace of the fucking Primes’.” The door swung open and my breath caught in my throat as I hoped Murphy would come out. I wasn’t so lucky. Instead, a man and his child emerged quickly, and the child was wearing the same kind of clothes as the last woman who died, and he seemed to be soaking wet too. “Indra, look at the kid.” 

“Follow my lead,” she ordered, “Don’t do anything stupid.” Indra walked over to where they had stopped and looked the boy up and down. “Is this how far you are willing to go? Murder innocent children?” 

“Daniel Prime stopped it, he told us to leave,” the father explained. 

“And what’s going on in there now?” I asked, my right hand clenching into a fist by my side, an action that luckily went unnoticed. 

“I don’t know, we left as soon as he said so.” 

_Goddammit_ , I cursed inwardly. I was about to say something else when I heard the unmistakable sound of the door shutting and the bolt being drawn across from the inside. “Indra,” I nudged her, changing to Trig so that the other ‘faithful’ wouldn’t hear. _“We’re screwed. They just locked the door from the inside.”_

Something flashed across her eyes briefly, and she passed me her gun. _“Get to a vantage point where you can see what’s going on inside. I’ll get a plan and get Emori and Russell. Don’t shoot unless you have to.”_

 _“Got it,”_ I took the gun from her and cocked it. 

She grabbed my arm before I got a chance to move. _“Alyssa, I mean it. Do not shoot unless you absolutely have to. Now go.”_

I nodded, glancing around before my eyes settled on one of the nearby houses. _“If you need me, I’ll be up there.”_ We both set off in different directions and I went straight to the building in question, knocking on the door. It swung open and I plastered a smile on my face. “Hi, I need to borrow your window.” 

Without giving them time to answer, I walked straight up the stairs and opened the window, positioning myself in it. The view wasn’t entirely optimal, but I could see enough. The curtain near the corresponding window of the tavern was half-drawn, and anything around the sides of that were mere silhouettes, but I could see everything that happened near the bar, save for a small area obscured by a large barrel of oil. 

They stripped Murphy of his shirt and jacket and I swore as they tossed them away, the hidden knife included. _So much for peace of mind._ A group of the faithful began to coat his upper half in oil before wrapping him in a cloth that seemed to have also been soaked. I adjusted my position slightly, if I kept my breathing steady and my aim sharp then I could easily hit Trey from an angle and send a bullet through the window and into his neck without hitting Murphy. 

_I think._

They prepared to take him outside to set him alight and instead of taking the conventional way down I climbed out and onto the window ledge before dropping to the ground, ignoring the pain that sparked through my knee. I could hear him shouting, “Get the hell off of me!” from inside the tavern and I prepared to act. 

_“Don’t shoot unless you have to.” That’s what Indra had said._

Well, I think I might fucking have to. 

I aimed the gun at the door, waiting for it to open so that if I had to I could shoot the people on either side of Murphy and give him a chance to run. I was almost completely in position when Indra appeared with the cavalry, placing a hand on my rifle to lower it and nodding at Emori and Russell who were close behind her. 

“You guys better hurry the fuck up,” I warned. “They’re ready to burn him.” 

“We have a plan,” Emori assured me, even though there was worry in her voice. 

I nodded, following them as two guards burst open the doors and Russell went inside first. Indra, Emori and I were close behind. 

“Russell Prime!” One of the faithful shouted, and I suppressed an eye roll. Why did they have to announce it every time one of them appeared? They live less than a mile away, it’s not a big deal to actually see them. They were all “Daniel Prime!” when Murphy showed up at the doorstep, like he’s never made a trip to the tavern before for some Jo Juice? It’s getting kind of annoying. 

Trey tried to hide his surprise. “Russell, Kaylee! Hallowed be your names.” 

“Hallowed be your names,” the others echoed.

“Hey sis,” Murphy’s face broke into a relieved grin. 

“Silence, false god,” a man from the side glared at him.

I yawned before speaking, “No offence, random person who I don’t know, but your opinion is invalid and I’d like you to shut up.” 

Russell raised a hand to shut me up and I pulled a face in response behind his back as he approached Murphy, “False god?” 

“Yes, Holiness. This man is an imposter, it’s not Daniel Prime,” Trey began, but before he could explain any further the sound of Russell’s palm cracking against his face caused an eruption of gasps from the crowd. 

“I wasn’t speaking to you,” Russell snapped, moving towards the other guy who had spoken. 

“It’s the truth, my lord,” he explained. “Daniel Prime and I were close. This man didn’t recognise me, he couldn’t even name the four pillars of—” 

Russell cut him off completely by putting his hand around the man’s neck and squeezing hard, leaning over him and narrowing his eyes. “I should tear your tongue through your throat for that.”

“Russell,” Indra prompted, “Get to the point.” 

He released the man and let him fall to the floor so that he could turn around and address the room. “Daniel, Kaylee and I are the last of the Primes. Just tonight, he gave me his blood so that this body could live after one of the fallen tried to take my life.” Russell circled the room before pausing in front of Murphy, touching his face gently. “I love him like a son.” 

Murphy tried to hide his disgust.

“Now release him!” Russell ordered, and the faithful did as he said. 

Once the chains were off, Murphy walked towards Emori and whispered, “Certainly took you long enough.” 

She smirked, “Had to find the right dress.” 

He subtly checked her out before nodding slightly in approval, “You did.” 

“My, my, my,” Russell studied his followers, and Indra turned around slowly from her place at the door, brief confusion flashing across her face. “What foolish little lambs you are. The last thing I want is for all of you to _die._ In the same night your uprising stayed my execution, you thought it wise to _sacrifice_ yourselves? You are the _only_ thing keeping me alive.” 

“Please, forgive us, Russell,” Tray begged. 

“You want forgiveness,” he approached him. “Then show me your fealty.” 

“Anything, just tell me what to do,” Tray pleaded. 

“Kneel,” Russell ordered, and Indra visibly recoiled. I frowned, unsure of what was happening slightly. “All of you, kneel or die,” he shouted. 

Emori picked up on it too, leaning closer to her. “Indra, what’s wrong?” 

“I’ve heard that before,” she whispered gravely. 

“That’s better,” Russell smiled before walking towards us, “Now go home and prey on your sins.” 

“Good show,” Murphy muttered as Emori led him out the door. 

Russell simply smirked and replied, “You’re welcome,” as they left. I walked behind them but slowly, unwilling to let Russell out of my sight in case he tried anything. 

Indra hesitated, looking at Russell with an expression on her face that I couldn’t quite place. _“There’s a spider on your shoulder,”_ she told him in Trig, a language that he shouldn’t be able to understand. 

He looked anyway, and I was taken aback. Russell can’t speak or understand Trigedasleng, so what the hell just happened? He seemed to realise his mistake and turned to face Indra, speaking in Trig slowly and spitefully. _“Too bad you can’t kill me,”_ he whispered. 

“Escort Russell Prime back to the lab,” she told the guards, and they left on either side of him. 

I caught her as she exited the tavern, grabbing her arm and pulling her to one side. “Indra, why the fuck can Russell understand Trig?” 

“You cannot tell anyone, Alyssa,” she warned, lowering her voice so much so that I was forced to read her lips. “But that’s not Russell. It’s someone much worse.” 

I finally put it together and my eyebrows shot up of their own accord, “Holy hell,” I muttered. “I guess we finally know where Sheidheda’s code went.” I frowned, “We’re gonna need to keep a bloody close eye on Sangedakru now, aren’t we?” 

~

“Can I talk to you?” I asked Murphy, pulling him into one of the empty rooms in the small part of the palace that was still standing. 

“Sure,” he shrugged, leaning against the wall. “What's up?” 

“I just…” I struggled to find the words. “I’m sorry.”

Murphy frowned, “Sorry about what?” 

“About everything I said when I thought Clarke was dead. I was freaking out and I lashed out and that wasn’t fair on you. You didn’t want to die, you didn’t want anyone else to get hurt, and you helped Josephine because it kept the rest of us alive. I also kept conveniently ignoring the fact that you did your best to protect me, and you also did the right thing as soon as you realised Clarke was alive and you helped save her. I’m just… I’m sorry. For being an ass.” I ran out of breath, shooting him an apologetic smile. “And I really didn’t like you for a short period of time but then I got over it because I really didn’t want anything to happen to you because you’re kind of like my best friend.” 

He sighed, closing the distance between us and wrapping his arms around me. “You’re kind of like my best friend too, so even if you hated me I was still gonna make sure that Josephine didn’t call dibs on you as her next host or something. And thanks, for keeping me alive.” 

“Thanks for keeping me sane,” I mumbled back, causing him to laugh. “Just so you know, I threatened Nelson that if he exposed you and Emori as ‘false gods’, I’d gut him.” 

“Sounds about right,” he laughed. 

“Don’t die,” I whispered. “You came pretty fucking close today, and I’d appreciate it if that didn’t happen again.”

Murphy let out a breath, “Not sure the situation could’ve been avoided, Daniel’s ex is pretty damn hung up on him. Maybe I shouldn’t have led with ‘You’re probably wondering why I haven’t called’.”

I laughed, “Oh my god, that’s hilarious. By the way, since the other day Raven and I walked in on you and Emori about to have sex, it might be a good idea if you at least _try_ and lock your door. You know, since you’re pretending to be siblings.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he rolled his eyes. “Are we one hundred percent good now?” 

“Hundred and ten percent,” I said firmly. “Also, I had the first in a while non-nightmare dream earlier. It ended with you throwing a waffle at my head after burning down the kitchen.”


	4. Sanctum STILL In Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I can't tell which is worse. The amount she makes me cringe or the amount she makes me want to throttle her." 
> 
> "I don't know what you mean by 'cringe', but if we weren't on the brink of war I wouldn't mind throttling her."

I caught up to Indra and Madi on their way to the school and put an arm around Madi. “Sorry I missed breakfast, something important came up. What are you guys talking about?” I avoided mentioning that the ‘something important’ was the plan I had created with my old tattoo artist friend Jason about leaving to scope out Gabriel’s old camp to see if the others left any kind of clues when they might be coming back and pick up any tech they left behind. 

“We were talking about the people that came for Clarke. Jackson said they’d had armour like nothing he’d ever seen,” she explained, and I made a mental note to get a hold of some of that armour. 

Indra dismissed her, “Jackson hasn’t seen a lot of armour. Clarke and Gaia have. They’ll be home soon, if not I’ll send a team after them, okay?” 

Maia glanced at her, “Do you even have a team to send?” 

“Did Jackson tell you that too?” She attempted to hide her distaste. 

“No, I heard you in the kitchen,” Madi revealed. 

I squeezed her shoulder reassuringly, “Don’t worry, Mads. If we _don’t_ have a team to send then I’ll just go. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve gone rogue.” She grinned at me but Indra shot me an unimpressed look, causing me to raise my hands in surrender. “I’m kidding, don’t worry.” When she turned away I tapped Madi on the arm, winking and mouthing “I’m not kidding.” 

“Don’t worry, Madi, it’s not your concern,” Indra reassured her. 

“They’re family. They _are_ my concern,” she replied firmly. 

I sighed, “Exactly, they _are_ family, which means nothing is gonna happen to them. If it does, no foreign planet can keep me from reigning hellfire down on the person responsible. I’m pretty sure no one wants that, hence the fact that they will be okay.” 

“Partially reassuring, but not by much,” Madi raised an eyebrow at me. 

I patted her head, careful not to mess her hair up before school, “Enjoy your day, kid. Make friends and all that jazz. Leave us to deal with the Sanctum love triangle and the planet-hopping weirdos in fancy-ass armour.” 

She rolled her eyes at me, “When you phrase it like that I’m interested. Sounds like a bad tv show.” 

I put a hand on her shoulder, leaning down to give her a quick hug. “What I meant to say was: _go be a kid._ You deserve it.” 

One of the remaining Trikru guards— Lindo— approached us and he didn’t seem too happy, _“We have a problem, chief.”_

 _“We always have a problem,”_ I rolled my eyes. _“What now?”_

Lindo took a step closer to us, lowering his voice. _“Someone broke into the armoury and stole all of the guns.”_

Indra’s expression hardened. 

Nelson, whose timing was as impeccable as ever, chose that moment to try and get our attention— more specifically, Indra’s. “Indra! We need to talk.” 

I pinched the bridge of my nose, “I admire your consistency. You always show up at the worst possible times.” 

Indra ignored him, turning her attention back to the soldier, or maybe it never left. _“When?”_

_“Last night. The entire locker.”_

I had a strong urge to ask them why all of the guns were in the same place, and mention something about amateur hour. Instead, I asked _“How many?”_

 _“Nearly fifty, over two thousand rounds.”_ He replied. _“Every weapon we’d collected.”_

Indra sucked in a breath, _“Were the guards hurt?”_

_“They weren’t there. No one saw a thing.”_

Nelson called out again and I walked over to him. “Nelson, buddy, stay in your lane.”

“I need to talk to Indra,” he glared at me. 

“Indra’s a little busy. We’re dealing with today’s crisis and no offence or anything, but it’s kind of taking priority,” I told him. 

His eyes flickered behind me to Indra as she walked towards Russell— or should I say _Sheidheda_ — and Nelson tried to call for her again. She shut him down instantly and he glared at them angrily. “It’s important.” 

“So are a lot of things,” I sighed. “Be patient, okay? You’re a reliable dude. You’re unlikely to do anything stupid, please stay that way. We need to handle one issue at a time, so please don’t create any more.” 

With that, I turned around in time to see the door swing shut behind Indra as she walked into Sheidheda’s cell. Cursing, I broke into a jog to try and get inside. The guard blocked my way. _“Chief is in there in the moment.”_

 _“Exactly why I’m going in,”_ I replied as I pushed past him and opened the door. 

Indra glared at me as I shut it after me, and Sheidheda seemed slightly surprised. “What are you doing here?” she asked me, visibly tense. 

“What, you think I’d miss the party,” I shot Sheidheda a fake smile. “Oh, and I already know so don’t try any bullshit with me, okay?” 

“Know what?” Sheidheda asked innocently— if a man like that _could_ be innocent. 

I sighed, “The fact that you clearly killed Russell in the mindspace and have now taken over his body? That you’re the one they nicknamed the Dick Commander?” 

“Actually, I think they call me the _Dark_ Commander,” he corrected me. 

“Well, I’m pretty sure you’re more of a dick then you are dark, so it’s either I call you the Dick Commander or Shitheda, your choice. Or I could mix it up a little, call you Dickheda?” I shrugged. Indra shot me a look that warned me not to piss him off but I sighed. “What? Am I wrong?” 

_“I’m recovering fine, thanks for asking,”_ he switched to Trig, changing the topic away from the inevitability that was the horrendous nicknames. _“Pity though, resurrection was wonderful. I would’ve liked to do it again.”_

Indra steeled herself, “Make no mistake, the moment you stop being useful, I will kill you myself.” 

“So you keep saying,” he replied nonchalantly. “Hmm, I suppose you have to since so few of your people are following orders now. Bad time to lose track of all those guns.”

“I can assure you, we have more than enough guns,” I informed him.

He raised an eyebrow, “Really? That’s not what I heard.” 

“Let me rephrase that then. _I_ have more than enough guns,” I clarified. 

“What you need is a _heda_. Alas, the child is broken. Perhaps Clarke could lead? She did once bear the flame, after all. A claim only three of us can make,” Sheidheda circled us. “That is what you’re really afraid of, isn’t it? That they’ll follow me. I would be too, if I was you.” 

I could feel the tension rising and I realised that he was right. That _was_ what Indra was afraid of, I could sense it. I pulled out a knife, slicing my palm. “Or you could go for a clean slate. Didn’t Russell tell you? You’ve got competition, bitch.” I shot Indra a look, silently conveying “Let’s go” and she gave the smallest nod in reply that was almost unnoticeable before marching towards the door and banging on it. 

“Guards!” She shouted, and they unlocked the door for us to leave through. 

I turned back one last time to look at him, a fake smile plastered across my face “I do enjoy our little chats. Until next time, _Shitheda_.” 

His expression turned foul as the door locked after us, leaving him alone again.

~

“I need a drink,” I announced. 

“And I need to find John Murphy,” Indra decided. 

I grinned, “Kill two birds with one stone, I know exactly where he’ll be.” 

We walked into the tavern, which had now been successfully vacated of all sacrificial fire-related rituals— although I had no idea if the same could be said about any non-fire-related rituals— to find Murphy. He was sitting at the bar and for once actually _talking_ to one of the Sanctum citizens. I recognised the man as the one who had been sent out by Murphy so that his son didn’t die last night. 

He was pouring himself and the other man a drink when we walked over and Indra was quick to announce us. “Excuse me, but I need to borrow your God.” 

“It’s okay,” Murphy patted the man on the arm. “What’s your name?” 

“Jeremiah,” he replied. 

Murphy smiled at him, “I’d say we go with Jerry. What do you think? Alright? Perfect. I’m probably gonna need to owe you that drink though, Jerry.” 

Jerry disappeared and I poured myself a drink as Indra prepared to ask Murphy for a favour. Before she got the chance, I patted him on the shoulder. “You made an impact on them last night. I’m proud of you. But we didn’t come for a chat.” 

“I’m not gonna like this, am I?” He groaned, finishing his drink. 

Indra jumped right into it, “Our guns were stolen. We need your help getting them back.” 

“All of the guns?” he raised an eyebrow at me. “You let someone steal guns from you?” 

“Not me personally,” I scoffed. “I’m very well-armed. I also have at least six rifles in Russell’s creepy basement.” 

Indra narrowed her eyes at me, “You have your own supply of weapons?” 

Murphy frowned for a different reason, “Russell has a basement?” 

“In the farmhouse,” I replied casually. “How are you surprised? The man had a creepy lab and a creepy skeleton room, of course he has a creepy basement.” 

“If we could get back to the task at hand?” Indra prompted, “The leader of the convicts, the one who died in the reactor. What do you know of his thief wife?” 

Murphy almost choked on his drink, “What, machine gun Annie? She and Hatch were bank robbers. Hatch liked the money, she liked the chaos. If she’s got the guns then we’ve got problems.” 

“Filling me with confidence,” I muttered sarcastically as Indra turned around and made her way over to Nikki. The man she was sitting with left as we arrived and she smirked slightly as she saw me, the bruises on my face that she’d caused a few nights ago were still very much prominent. 

“There was a break-in last night,” Indra announced. 

Nikki scoffed, “And you think we’re responsible? Once a convict, always a convict? Is that it?”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” I laughed. “I’ve probably got an even kill count with you, if not more.” 

“You’ve got my husband on your list, so maybe you _are_ up by one. Care to give me Raven to make it even?” Nikki raised an eyebrow and I pursed my lips, clenching my fists. 

“Look, you’ve been through a lot. We all have. Hatch was a good man, we just want to know if you’ve seen anything or heard anything,” Murphy put a hand on my shoulder to keep me in check and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at it. God, we've come such a long way from trying to kill each other that he’s now trying to stop me from murdering others. A true friend. 

“Yeah, I heard something,” Nikki glared at him. “I heard you have blood alteration. Which means you were never in any danger of going into that reactor. Raven knew exactly what she was doing when she sent my men to die. I think maybe she should die for that. What do you think?” She turned to Indra. “You’re the man now, that sound like justice to you?”

Indra refused to be rattled by her. “You didn’t ask what was stolen. Seems like the obvious question, unless you already know. Where are the guns? What do you want?”

“My husband back,” she snarled as she stood up to leave. “Tell Raven I said ‘bang, bang’.” 

Murphy sucked in a breath, “And you thought Diyoza was a handful.” 

Indra shot him a look and he shrugged defensively. 

“I can’t tell which is worse,” I muttered. “The amount she makes me cringe or the amount she makes me want to throttle her.” 

Indra sighed, “I don’t know what you mean by ‘cringe’, but if we weren’t on the brink of war I wouldn’t mind throttling her.” 

“If you’ll excuse me,” I lifted Murphy’s hand from my shoulder and left in the same direction as Nikki. 

“What’s she going to do?” I heard Indra ask as I walked out the door. 

Murphy laughed, “Probably everything short of ‘bang, bang’.” 

I caught up to Nikki and grabbed her arm, pulling her around to face me. “Listen, you lay a hand on any of my family and you start a war that you can’t finish.” 

She scoffed, raising an eyebrow. “Really? Last I heard, you no longer have an army.” 

“I’m not talking about an army. I’m talking about _me_. If you touch them, you’ll wish you never came out of cryo.” 

“Since my husband died after we came out of cryo, I’m pretty sure I’m already in that position. Bring it, bitch.” 

By my side, my hand clenched into a fist and I tried to control my anger, “Look, I’ve been through hell and back to protect my family, just because I couldn’t protect yours doesn’t mean you can come after mine.” 

“I want Raven to pay for what she did, the only _problem_ will be with those who get in my way,” Nikki replied. 

“Well Raven isn’t here right now, and you can bet your ass I’ll stay in your way. Deal with it, I’m not going anywhere and if you make a move on them I know a lot of ways to make your life a living hell.”

Nikki laughed, “You do know what I’m capable of, right? Why I was on the Eligius ship? You don’t scare me, kid.” 

I rolled my eyes, “I know all about your bank robbing and your murder charges, _Nikki_. How about I tell you a little something about myself? I killed my first man when I was fifteen, spent almost three years in space jail before being sent to a post-nuclear earth which was wrongly presumed to be uninhabited. I’ve been a part of multiple wars and I’ve killed in combat and cold blood. I have several bullet scars and I have been stabbed multiple times and tortured and attacked by a large radiation-mutated panther. 

“After the second apocalypse and that jackass McCreary destroyed the only survivable land, I went into cryo with you lot, only to wake up and find that two of my best friends never went to sleep and that I never got to say goodbye. Got to this hellhole to be affected by a psychosis-inducing eclipse during which I carved this into my arm—” I paused to take a breath and pull up my sleeve to reveal the scars of the word _MONSTER_ on my arm, right under my Monty ‘do better’ tattoo— “Three days later I found out that the girl I considered a sister had been murdered by a body-snatching cult, and had been impersonated by some other psycho bitch until we finally managed to get her back and lock up the aforementioned psycho bitch’s father. Half of my family got arrested and almost _burnt at the fucking stake_ and to buy them time I threatened to kill myself during the middle of their execution ceremony. 

“Me and my friends prevented a war here and we have been _trying_ to do so since before you guys even set foot on this damned moon. Some of my friends are now rescuing my other friends from a planet we know nothing about, so listen up, _Nikki,_ I think you should know that actually _you_ don’t scare _me._ ” I pulled my sleeve down and smiled at her, pairing it with a glare that was one for the history books. “Stay away from my family, or we’re going to have issues.” 

That was a lie, we already have issues. 

~

I walked past the school on my way to see Jason, spotting Madi sitting on a bench and talking to a kid her own age. I couldn’t help but smile. She made a friend! She made a friend! Aw, they’re so cute. _Focus, Alyssa. You can talk to Mads about her day later._

I made my way up to his loft, not bothering to knock before pushing the door open. “We good to go?” 

“It’s not a big window, people will wonder where we’ve gone,” he said hesitantly. 

“Indra has her hands full which is a blessing and a curse. It means she either won’t notice I’m gone or she’ll look for me for help. Either way, we need to move _now._ Are you in or not?” I pressed. 

Jason let out a laugh, “Of course I’m in. This place was so boring before you showed up, now insane. Why would I give up a chance to help you recover next level tech?”

“That’s the spirit. Now, how are we getting there?” I asked. 

He grinned, pointing to the floor beneath us. “Let me introduce you to my ride.” 

Jason’s ride was a motorbike. 

He handed me a helmet and I put it on as he did the same with himself, sitting down on the bike and gesturing to the space behind him. It was pretty cool, although I had to admit that the trailer he’d attached to the back kind of reduced the effect a little. “You gotta teach me how to ride one of these. My ultimate grand entrance would be to crash through a window on this thing.” 

“I’ll teach you to ride on one condition,” Jason laughed. “If you _do_ crash through a window on a motorbike, can it please not be mine?” 

I settled into the seat, wrapping my arms around his middle. “How the hell did you get a hold of this, anyway? I thought only the guards and Primes had them.” 

“Won it from Ryker in a long-standing bet,” he explained. 

“Which was?” I raised an eyebrow, forgetting he wouldn’t be able to see. 

“If he dies, I get the bike. He never thought I’d win because the asshole always gets resurrected. Not this time,” he started the engine. “This is your driver speaking, we have no seat belts so please hold tight because I don’t want you falling off in a forest that has tried to kill us on multiple occasions. Just hang on and enjoy the ride, we’ll be there in no time at all.” 

The garage door opened and he sped out, and I shook my head in disbelief. Most people have ridden a regular bike at least once in their life before they ride a motorbike. I guess I’d just gone for the big leagues first. 

We skidded to a halt outside a large, open, metal gate. Bodies in suits littered the ground, bullet holes puncturing each of them. “Holy hell,” I whispered. 

“So awesome,” Jason breathed. 

I climbed off the bike and raised the visor on my helmet. “Anything broken is useless, it’s so advanced that I doubt anyone would be able to fix it. I picked up a few of their helmets and tossed them into the trailer, ignoring the blank stares of their previous owners. Each had weird symbols tattooed across their forehead and I recognised some of them from the tattoo on Octavia’s back.

“Sweet,” Jason raised an eyebrow, “Definitely not stealing that idea.” 

I put one of the helmets on to test it out and the interface flickered into life, surprising me and sending me stumbling backwards a few steps into Jason. “Wicked, Raven must love this.” 

As my thoughts turned to Raven, a small image of her popped up into the corner of my screen, along with a small information box. 

> REYES, RAVEN
> 
> ORDERS: CAPTURE, DON’T KILL. RENDITION TO BARDO.

I pulled the helmet off, staring at it for a moment before tossing it into the trailer. 

“I don’t like this. I mean, I love it, but I also really don’t like this. We need to get back to Sanctum, check this out and then come back once we have more information.”

Jason looked around, surprisingly on edge, “Couldn’t agree more.” 

~

As we arrived back at his loft, I spotted Jackson, Murphy and Emori stalking across the main square like they were on a mission. “Get these inside, don’t try anything until I get back, okay?” I told him warily, frowning at the others and setting off at a run. 

“Not fair! These things look so awesome!” He shouted after me, before realising I wasn’t going to reply. “Fine! But you owe me one.” 

I caught up with them, grabbing Murphy. “What’s going on?” 

“Where the hell have you been?” Jackson asked incredulously. “You know what? Doesn’t matter. Apparently, Wonkru is gathering at the request of the Commander, we’re going to see what’s going on.” 

I raised an eyebrow, keeping pace with them. “There’s only two options for Commander… neither are happening if I’m still breathing.” 

We burst through the doors, Jackson going first. “Indra, we just heard Wonkru is gathering at the request of the Commander. What are you doing?” 

“Keeping all hell from breaking loose,” she replied. “Jackson, go inside. The delegation from Skaikru is small, but you need to find them. The rest of you aren’t Wonkru, please go.” 

“Neither is Madi,” Murphy reminded her. 

Indra stepped forwards in front of Madi, frowning at Jackson. “Why did you bring them?”

“Because they care about her,” he answered firmly. “And so do I.” 

I looked at Madi, “Is this what you want?” 

“I’m fine,” she announced, even though her voice was shaking. “I can do this.” 

Murphy shook his head, “Indra, look at her. She’s terrified.”

“Madi, you don’t have to do this,” I reassured her. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” 

Indra turned to face her, “Madi kom Louwoda-Klironkru, you were born for this. Do you remember what I told you to say?” Madi nodded and Indra reached into her pocket to pull out the Commander’s headpiece. “There’s just one more thing.” 

I moved forwards, “I can’t let you do this, Indra. I know what’s at stake, but there is another way, anything is better than this. I can’t allow it.” 

Jackson stepped beside me, his expression hardened. “Indra.”

“You say one more word to stop this and I will cut you down, I swear it,” she threatened. 

“Don’t fight, please,” Madi whispered, beads of sweat shining down the side of her face as she paled. 

Murphy took a step towards Indra, moving me out of the way to square up to her. “Do it. Cut _me_ down, because that’s the only way I’m letting this kid go in there.” 

Madi looked between Indra and the headpiece and back again, shaking, “I— I’m sorry, I can’t do this.” She took off out the room, leaving the rest of us in shock. 

“Indra, she’s having a panic attack,” Jackson pleaded. “She can’t do this, and you know it.” 

Indra tried to follow Madi out but Murphy stood in her way, giving me time to run after Madi with Jackson close behind. 

“Madi!” I called after her, following her as she ran and finally catching up to her. I caught her wrist and she turned to face me, fear in her eyes as she stammered.

“I— I can’t do it. I can’t do it, Lyss. I thought— I thought I could but I can’t…”

I took her around a corner out of sight and sat down on the floor to calm her down. “It’s okay. Murphy and Emori will sort it out. You don’t need to be a Commander, not now, not ever again. I won’t let it happen, I promise.” I pulled her into me, “Deep breaths, come on. In time with me. In… out…. In… out… good girl, that’s it. You got this.” I stroked her hair. “It’s going to be okay. I promise, Mads. Everything’s going to be okay.” 

Jackson arrived and sat down next to us. “You feeling any better?” 

“I don’t have to go back?” Madi asked nervously.

“‘Course not,” I promised. “We’re gonna go home, get you changed out of this gear and then later if you feel up to it you can go meet some of your friends.” I nudged her side, “And you can tell me about the cute boy you were talking to earlier.” 

Madi scrunched her nose up, “We talked once, and got interrupted by Indra. He said to come find him later.” 

“He seems nice,” I smiled at her. 

“Yeah,” she chewed on her lower lip. “He does.” 

I grinned, “You know what always used to cheer you up? Trying and failing to beat my ass at training. Not for Commander related reasons, not for a war, just throwing knives. You fancy having a go? I understand if you’re a little rusty…” 

“I think you’re remembering incorrectly,” she began to smile. “It was you who failed to beat _me._ ” 

“Oh! Cocky, are we?” I grinned, “Come on. Let’s get you out of that gear.”


	5. Hostage Situations and Broken Bikes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If I have to die for her, I will." 
> 
> "If I have to die for the both of you, I will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N So funny story but I wrote the first scene of this chapter while out on a walk with my parents because apparently, I spend 'too much time on my computer' and 'it's not healthy' so I put together the first scene while walking along a path in the middle of nowhere and trying to avoid piles of cow shit. Enjoy.

I flicked up the visor as the bike stopped, grinning at Jay. “So what do you think?”

“I think you need a crash course in personal safety.” He raised an eyebrow at me, “But… you’re improving. Can we take a break? We’ve been at this for hours.”

I rolled my eyes. “Fine, but I’m never gonna improve if we keep taking breaks.” Pulling the helmet off and tucking it under one arm, I dismounted the bike and leant against it. “How are we doing for time? I promised I’d be there for Kaylee— moral support and security. And Jackson has got his therapy mode on today and apparently he wants to see me later because I’m _all kinds_ of messed up.”

“Right, forgot you were friends with the Primes. Does that come with any benefits?” Jason laughed.

“Only saving their asses whenever necessary,” I shrugged. Before he could reply, a string of gunshots rang out coming from the direction of Sanctum. “Son of a bitch,” I cursed. _Can’t they go without getting shot at for more than two days?_ “Speaking of which,” I pulled the helmet back on and mounted the bike. “I’m going to need to borrow this.”

Jason’s eyes widened, “Alyssa, don’t—” but I was already flicking down the visor. “Alyssa that’s my bike—” 

“Sorry!” I shouted back, barely considering whether he could hear me or not over the noise of the bike itself. 

_The bullets came from the party. The party where Emori, Murphy and Madi were._

I sped up, making the sudden stop at the top of the hill all the more dangerous. Eligius convicts stood guarding the doors, guns in their hands that I recognised to be the stolen ones from Wonkru. _God-fucking-dammit Nikki? I told you what would happen if you laid a hand on my family._

A shout echoed from Sheidheda’s cell. “Help! Guards, let me out of here!”

_Murphy._

I flicked the visor back down, driving the bike towards the shout and skidding to a halt as I hit the gravel and tossing the helmet aside. “What the hell is going on?” I asked breathlessly as Murphy stumbled out of Sheidheda’s room and another string of machine-gun fire started from the direction of the palace, accompanied by screams. 

“Emori’s in trouble. Madi too.”

~

We tried to come up with a plan. There was no way into the palace unless they let us in, and walking in seemed kind of counterproductive in regards to getting the others _out._ It wasn’t long before Nikki accessed Sanctum’s speaker system with her demands. 

“This thing on?” Her voice echoed through the tinny speaker in the tavern and Jackson, Murphy and I immediately looked up. “Good evening, Sanctum. This is Nikki at the mic, with my friend Nelson beside me. Thank you for your patience, but we have some requests. We would like to extend our invitation to Russell and Daniel Prime, and Raven Reyes, to meet us at the palace. You have twenty minutes to get here or we start killing hostages. Want to take a guess at who’ll be first? I’ll let her introduce herself.”

I stood up, knocking my stool over in the process and throwing a knife directly into one of the pictures on the wall, decapitating one of their so-called gods as the frame smashed and fell to the ground. 

“This is Kaylee Prime,” Emori announced unsteadily, and I felt Murphy tense up next to me. “Daniel, I don’t want you to do anything—” she got cut off by Nikki and there was a short pause before she continued. “I am supposed to tell you that I’m looking at a gun pointed at my head, but I don’t want you to do anything stupid—” the mic cut out after that with a screech of feedback as Murphy shot towards the door. 

Jackson grabbed him, pulling him back. “Murphy, wait. You heard what she said. Don’t be stupid.” 

“That’s my speciality,” I muttered under my breath. _Time to do something stupid._

“She’s brave, I’ll give her that. It’d be a shame to have to kill her.” Nikki announced. “Twenty minutes. Oh look, now it’s nineteen. Tick tock.” 

Murphy shook off Jackson’s arm and looked at me. I understood what he was silently saying. _No matter what. We get them back no matter what._ Emori meant so much to him he was practically ready to burn the place down— if Clarke hadn’t done that already— if it meant getting her out. 

“We need a plan,” I nodded, silently telling him I understood. “And a backup plan, in case Plan A goes sideways.”

Murphy scoffed, “Well here is what we’re working with. They have a lot of guns, Wonkru won’t listen to us, I am one hundred and fifty pounds _wet_ and Jackson can’t fight to save his life. And Lyss if you go in there and start killing theirs then they will kill ours, even if you manage to turn into a Grade A sniper within the next ten minutes.” 

The remark, _who’s to say I’m not already a Grade A sniper?_ because it was kind of true, rested on the edge of my tongue, but I knew that now was not a time for jokes. Instead, I folded my arms and sighed. “Raven isn’t even on the same damn planet!” 

“That’s why Indra left to find the others,” Murphy reminded me. 

Indra arrived, her timing impeccable as always. “I’m gone for half a day, and now the palace is surrounded by armed cogs and convicts?”

“Where have you been? We have a situation,” Jackson turned to her. 

“I heard the announcement,” she confirmed with a sigh. 

“I’m sure Nelson wants us Primes to tell the faithful we’re full of crap,” Murphy sighed.

Indra raised an eyebrow slightly, “Or he wants to kill you.”

I shrugged, “Probably both. So, what’s the battle plan?” 

Murphy cut me off, “Wait, where’s everyone else? They asked for Raven too.”

“All we found were bodies and blood at Gabriel’s camp… not our people. There was no trace of them. We left a unit out in the field to keep searching. I was afraid to stay out too long, and I think I’m right, considering what I just walked in on. Gaia is with them too, but they can take care of themselves. Obviously, you can’t.” Indra finished, a distasteful expression on her face. 

“What were you expecting to find?” I scoffed. “I scoped the place out with a friend after they left, brought back some of the tech. They must’ve gone through the Anomaly somehow, but since none of us know how to work that thing— or any of the weird tech— it’s a lost cause.” 

“Nate was with them,” Jackson whispered quietly. 

Murphy reassured him, “We’ll get Nate and Gaia back, but we have eighteen minutes to save Emori.”

“How?” Indra asked, “We can’t get them Raven.”

“You’re not gonna like it— hell, I don’t like it— but we could give them me and Russell. Two out of three ain’t bad.” Murphy suggested.

Indra stared at him in disbelief, “You want to let Sheidheda go free? That’s exactly what he wants us to do. You’re right, I don’t like it. I should’ve known that I wouldn’t like this plan from the moment you said _you_ didn’t even like it because that’s exactly what Alyssa said before she led us into a sandstorm back on earth.”

I blinked, remembering the incident. “Guilty. But we didn’t die though, so I’d say it was a success.” 

“It’s hardly letting him go free,” Murphy protested.

“It’s still out of my control,” Indra shut him down. 

I sighed, “What other choice do we have?” 

“It’ll at least buy us some time, okay, time for you to gather Wonkru for a frontal assault. I don’t care if it’s what he wants. I’m going in there one way or the other. I won’t let her die, Indra.” 

Indra followed Murphy across the room, “Sheidheda won’t just volunteer for this.” 

“Well, then I guess we’ll have to persuade the bastard,” Murphy decided before stalking out, leaving Indra and Jackson behind. 

I shook my head, jogging after him before they had the chance to. “Hey! Murphy!” 

He turned around once we made it outside. “I’m going to talk to Sheidheda.” 

“I know,” I caught his arm. “Just wait a second, please?”

“I don’t have a _second_ , Alyssa! Emori is in there and we have seventeen minutes before Nikki kills her and I am _not_ letting that happen,” he snapped. 

“Hey,” I moved my hand up to his shoulder, strengthening my grip to stop him from turning away. “Listen to me. Whatever happens, _I won’t let her die._ Madi is in there too, but I am going to do whatever I can to keep Emori alive. But I am not willing to watch you die for her, so it better not have to fucking come to that, do you hear me?”

Murphy swallowed thickly. “If I have to die for her, I will.” 

“If I have to die for the both of you, _I_ will.” 

Indra caught up, looking between us as the expression on Murphy’s face faltered momentarily. “Did I interrupt something?” 

“No,” I told her. “Now let’s sacrifice Sheidy to save our friends.”

~

“So they took thirty people hostage?” Sheidheda seemed almost amused, and it took all I had not to throttle him in that moment. “You really do have an iron grip on this place.” 

Indra managed to stay calm. “We don’t have time for games. Don’t act so surprised. You wanted chaos and you got it. In the meantime, my people will blow the doors off the place and come in shooting.” 

“Why don’t _you_ go play hero?” He suggested. 

“Oh, I’m going,” Murphy informed him. “So are you.” 

Sheidheda scoffed, “Why would I? As we discussed before, if these fools wise up then they’ll want to tear me apart, and if I survive that then you’ll have no reason to keep me around. It’s a quick death either way.”

“How about a slow one right now?” Indra stepped forwards, hand resting on her weapon.

“As much as I’d relish that, I’m going to need more.” 

“I’ll protect you from the faithful,” she admitted reluctantly. 

He nodded, “That’s a start.”

“You can have back your ten minutes a day of guarded time outside,” Indra added.

“Thirty.”

“Twenty!”

“And I want someone to play chess with,” he stood up and approached her. “Someone who understands the complexities.”

“Trust me, I’m done playing with you,” Murphy announced with a glare.

Sheidheda looked at Indra, “Perhaps you’re a more formidable opponent.” 

Indra stared him down. “I don’t play _games._ ” 

“I’ll do it.” I decided. If this was going to help save my family then hell, I’d even let him win occasionally. “But you’re going to have to teach me at first. Do we have a deal?”

“Yes,” he smirked, crossing to the pile of papers by his bedside. “But since your plan most likely leaves us dead, I have a better idea. While I was pretending to be that simpering fool, I happened upon something that might help us.”

Indra snatched the piece of paper from him. It was a map of the tunnels under the palace. One of which leading into the great hall that I recognised from the night of the weaponised red sun toxin-induced bloodbath. “A tunnel under the palace,” she whispered. “It leads right under the great hall. This could work.”

“Alyssa can show you the way,” he smiled. 

I raised an eyebrow, “I only went halfway, killed a guy and ran back down the passage after shooting down the lights. That reminds me, you’ll need your own lighting.” 

“No, not _you._ ” Sheidy sighed, “The other Alyssa. The faithful one. She’s very loyal, although I have to say… you are definitely more entertaining.” 

I pulled a face, “Coming from you that’s not a compliment.”

He smiled, “I feel like this is the beginning of a _beautiful_ friendship.”

“I feel like puking, but go off, I guess,” I muttered half-under my breath.

We walked outside, preparing for Murphy and Sheidheda to go in. I was practically shaking with anticipation. It was risky— hell, it was something _I_ would do— which made me more nervous than usual. It was someone other than me risking their life and the thought of this failing and them all dying was almost too awful for me to comprehend. I exhaled slowly, trying to steady myself. I passed a blade between my hands, enough control that I barely had to look at it. 

I grabbed Murphy before they got to the palace, just out of sight of the other guards who still believed he was Daniel. “Be careful, don’t die. I mean it.” 

“It’s going to be fine,” he replied unconvincingly, and I struggled to tell if that was more for himself or me. “With you and Indra in that cavalry, everything is under control. We just have to stall.” 

“You have to stay alive, that’s what you have to fucking do. Indra has to command Wonkru, and I have to gather weapons. Now, let’s go save your wife.” 

~

They went inside with four minutes to spare, and I could already tell how much I hated this plan. This was a terrible plan. We should’ve found a better one. A thought occurred to me, and I almost did a double-take. _Shit, is this what Bellamy feels like every time_ I _carry out an incredibly suicidal plan?_ Probably. 

Indra was taking charge of Wonkru and I had taken Jay’s bike up to the top of one of the hills along with a pair of binoculars so that I could monitor the situation, still with easy access. From where I was positioned, the guards surrounding the palace couldn’t see me, but I could see through one of the windows everything that was going on inside. Sort of. From this angle, I could only read the lips of everyone facing in the same direction as Murphy.

“Look, I get it. If anything happened to my girl I don’t know what I’d do, but I swear to you, she’s coming. Now Russell and I are here, you don’t need the kids anymore. Let them go,” Murphy spoke calmly, his eyes flicking over Emori to check she was okay. 

_See?_ I told myself. _Everything’s fine. Just need to wait for Indra’s signal, and then I can join the cavalry._

Someone took Emori to the side, and Murphy was pushed forwards by Nikki. He muttered something to Russell, but it was half under his breath and I couldn’t read his lips when he tilted his head down. Nelson grabbed Murphy by the back of the neck and threw him forward. He stumbled, but didn’t fall. 

“I’m not Daniel Lee,” Murphy revealed. “My name is John Murphy. Zev was right. We’re not Primes.”

“Your turn,” Nelson shoved Emori to the front and Murphy caught her, filling her in on the plan quickly and quietly. 

_Where the hell was Indra?_

Her signal was supposed to be a double flash of the torch by the tunnel entrance so I could ride over and meet her once Wonkru was ready for the ambush. So far, no one had approached the tunnel. So far, I had received no signal. 

“It’s true,” Emori told them. “I’m Emori, and this was the body I was born with. The Lees are dead.” 

“One minute until I start shooting,” Nikki announced. “Unless Raven shows up to take the bullets for you.”

Sheidheda smirked, “Russell had all you fools convinced he was a go. But if he really was a god then why was it so easy for me to kill him and take his body? I am not Russell Lightbourne, I wear his body as my host. Your Primes are gone forever.”

Nikki snapped the pocket watch in her hand shut, “Times up! Looks like Emori dies instead of Raven.” She pulled Emori to the front and placed a gun against her head as someone held Murphy back. 

“Wait!” He protested. “Wait, it wasn’t Raven’s idea to use your people, it was mine.” 

_Not the signal I was waiting for, but it’s the one I’m taking_ , I decided, revving the bike’s engine and pulling the helmet down. I tossed the binoculars to one side and zipped up my jacket, turning the bike around and going down the hill in the opposite direction. _Here goes nothing._

I pulled a sharp turn, and mentally apologised to Jay for trashing his bike as I pushed the bike harder in the drive back up the hill. I held down the accelerator with all the force I had and it shot forwards off the top of the hill, soaring upwards into the air just in time to hit one of the back right windows of the hall. The bike crashed into one of the food tables and I winced as pain shot through my leg, but I pulled myself to my feet and realised the distraction worked as I’d intended. 

Nikki’s gun was no longer pointed at Emori, and it had been moved from against Murphy’s forehead to point at the intruder. _Me._ At that moment, all of the room’s guns were pointed at _me._

Putting on a brave face, I removed the helmet and shook the glass out of my jacket as I undid the zip. “I’m guessing I have your attention now?” 

“I was wondering when you’d show up,” Nikki laughed. “Beginning to think all that talk was just that… _talk._ ” 

“Sorry I’m late,” I shrugged. “Think my invite got lost in transit. Wouldn’t want to miss the show now, would I? Listen, Nikki. He’s right. It wasn’t Raven’s idea to send in your people.” I walked towards her, but she didn’t shoot me. Not yet. “But he is taking the fall for it to save her. Using your people was never his idea, but it wasn’t Raven’s either. It was mine. I was there, remember? When she recruited Hatch. If you want to point your gun at anyone—” by this point I had reached her, and walked straight into the barrel of her gun. “Point it at me.” 

Nikki glared at me, the gun pressing into my forehead. “You don’t get to talk about my husband.” 

“Even if you wanted to kill Raven, _she isn’t here_. I’m the one you want, take it or leave it.” 

Indra took that moment to come in with the Wonkru army, and the second attention wavered from us and the gunfire broke out, Murphy threw himself on top of Emori to protect her. I smiled at Nikki, even though she hadn’t moved her gun. 

“Huh,” I whispered to her. “I told you what would happen if you came after my family… but I guess I do have an army after all.” 

I could feel Indra walking up behind me, pointing her gun at Nikki, the only person who’s weapon hadn’t been discarded in surrender. “Nikki, it’s over. Put the gun down.” 

“I could still shoot you,” she whispered to me. 

“But then they’d shoot you,” I smiled back sympathetically as she lowered the pistol, and the rest of the cogs and convicts got to their knees. She shoved me aside and I winced on the leg that I’d injured, but other than the numerous scratches from my dramatic entrance, I got off virtually unscathed. 

“What the hell were you thinking?” Murphy hissed. 

“You needed a distraction, I’d say I’m pretty distracting,” I replied. 

Emori let out a breath, “I’m beginning to think you’re addicted to the danger.”

“I’d be a little less addicted if people weren’t trying to kill you twenty-four seven. Seriously, when I say ‘be careful, don’t die’, I fucking mean it!” 

“You’re welcome,” Sheidheda told Indra. “The plan worked perfectly.” 

Indra glanced at me, already having noticed the bike on the way in. “Almost perfectly so far.” 

~

The Wonkru army led the cogs and convicts out, restrained, finishing with Nikki. I leant against the wall and Madi rushed towards me, wrapping her arms around me. 

“Hey, kid. It’s _way_ past your bedtime,” I whispered jokingly. 

“That was so badass,” she whispered into my shoulder. “But also really, really stupid.”

I laughed, “How else do you expect me to do things? Fun fact, I also owe my friend Jason a motorbike.” 

Almost as if I’d summoned him, Jason came running through the open doors and his eyes widened at the sight of the wreckage next to the tables. “My bike!” 

“Fuck,” I cursed under my breath, and Madi suppressed a giggle. 

“Alyssa, what the _hell_ did you do to it?” 

“Funny story,” I laughed weakly. “So remember that thing you explicitly told me not to do? I did it. Don’t worry, I will either help you fix it or get you another one. I swear.” 

He groaned loudly. “I need a drink.”

I introduced Madi to him as he walked out. “So that’s my friend Jason, and he’s probably going to hate me forever.” Once he was gone, I glanced over at Sheidheda, who was having a hushed conversation with the other Alyssa. _That will never not be confusing._

The faithful were beginning to get uneasy, muttering amongst themselves about killing their false gods. That wasn’t good. I’d just avoided my friends dying, I’d rather we didn’t go through that again so soon. Then again, they could have Sheidheda. I’d really enjoy it if they killed him.

“Madi, go find Jackson,” I said quietly. “I have a feeling things are about to get tense in here, and I think you’ve been through enough for one day.” 

“But—”

“No arguments.”

She sighed, “Fine. I’ll see you back at the farmhouse later.” 

I walked over to Indra at the same time as Murphy and Emori. “They’re getting restless,” I noticed. 

“They’re getting rowdy,” Murphy agreed. “We should let them out of here.”

“I got it handled,” Indra said calmly. “You should go.” Emori wasted no time in walking towards the exit, Murphy close behind. Indra took one more look at the faithful before starting to go herself, and I sighed and followed after. She shut the door behind us and whirled around to face the guards. “Do not open these doors. You may hear disturbing things but these are my orders, is that clear?” 

The moment the shouts began on the other side of the door, Indra turned away and began walking out of the palace. 

“Indra, what are you doing?” Murphy warned. 

I looked at the guards. One of them was Knight kom Sangedakru, a good soldier, but a poor choice when Sheidheda was involved. He glanced back at the doors, wondering briefly what was going on inside before staying his post. 

“Killing a demon,” Indra answered. “Do you have a problem with that? Good. Now get some rest, you’ve both had a long day.” She stalked out the open door and disappeared. 

Emori started to follow, but she turned back when she realised Murphy wasn’t behind her. “We should go, John. Before they come for us.” 

_Something wasn’t right._ I looked at the door and listened to the shouts behind it. They didn’t sound like the shouts of Sheidheda dying, they sounded like the shouts of what happened when he didn’t. Murphy locked eyes with me, he had picked up on it too. 

He tried to get through the guards but they refused. “This is what he wanted,” he shouted. “Open the door!”

“We follow Indra’s word,” one of the guards pushed him back. “Not yours.” 

“That’s not one man screaming! Sheidheda’s killing them,” Murphy protested.

Knight broke from his place. “What did you just say?”

_Oh shit._

“Did you just—” I trailed off as Murphy realised his mistake. 

_Oh fuck._

_“Open the door!”_ Sheidheda shouted in Trig from inside as the screams subsided, and I swallowed thickly. Knight pulled open the door and Murphy stormed through with me close behind, and Emori after me. 

It was a bloodbath. 

Sheidheda was standing in the centre of the room, surrounded by the rest of the faithful including ones I recognised, such as Alyssa, Zev and Jerry. But the faithful hadn’t managed to lay a hand on him, not even a scratch. The blood he was covered in was _theirs_ , and their bodies were laying across the floor limp like dolls as he held up a trident, grinning maniacally. _Well, at least there wouldn't be any confusion between the two Alyssas anymore since the other one is dead._

 _“My fight is just beginning,”_ he smirked, licking his lips after the words left them. 

Beside us, the Wonkru guards kneeled before him. 

I lowered my voice as I hissed to Murphy, “We are so screwed.”


	6. Hell To Pay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Then you have to die." 
> 
> "You see, that's not really on my to-do list either."

Sheidheda disappeared as soon as we began to tend to the wounded, so the living family members of those involved in his massacre were brought in to see their loved ones. I’m not sure why, considering it would be pretty fucking traumatising. Someone could have at least waited until they were no longer covered in blood before letting in people affected by it. Either way, Emori, Murphy and I flitted about between bodies, checking pulses and trying to see if there was anyone still breathing. There were a few, and we tried to help as best we could. 

I walked past Murphy as tears dripped from his face and onto the barely conscious body of his new friend Jerry. “Take care of my son,” he whispered. 

“Take care of him yourself,” Murphy replied firmly. “I’m not letting you die.” 

I spotted one of Madi’s friends and gave him what I hoped was a supportive pat on the shoulder when I saw him crying over his mother’s body. Yep, been there little fella. I feel your pain. 

Indra burst in, looking around angrily. “Sheidheda! Where is he?” 

“We rushed in to help the faithful. Before we knew it, he was gone,” Emori explained. 

The bodies were strewn around the room and covered in blood and my leg twinged in pain from the window incident as I almost tripped over an outstretched lifeless arm. Shit, I never liked the faithful— what with that ‘let’s burn everyone alive’ incident— but they didn’t deserve _this_. 

Indra bent down and looked at the passage. “He escaped through the secret passage. We need to get to him before he can reach Wonkru.” 

“Well, might be a little late for that,” Murphy sighed. “Your buddy Knight is gone too.” 

“Sangedakru will follow him, he’s one of their own. The other clans will take more convincing, but with no alternative—” 

She was cut off by Emori, “But there is an alternative.”

My breath caught in my throat as her name fell from my lips, “ _Madi._ ” I shot out the door with the others behind me, pushing through the pain in my leg even when it became almost unbearable from the constant use. I gritted my teeth and ran through the streets of Sanctum. “Has anyone seen her? Anyone?” 

Murphy ran over, “She was last at the tavern, I just spoke to someone who said they left when Sheidheda came in.” 

“Shit. If he lays a hand on her I am going to tear him limb from limb and end his sorry existence once and for all,” I spat, wincing as my knee buckled. Murphy looked at me in concern but I shook him off. “I’m fine. Right now, Madi is the top priority.”

He nodded, but not without a quick glance towards my leg that didn’t go unnoticed as we pushed open the tavern doors. “Madi! Madi are you here!” He shouted, trying to find her. 

“Madi!” I looked around. “Mads!” 

Indra barked orders, “This is the last place she was seen, go search the perimeters. I’ll take the kitchen, Emori the basement, Murphy—” 

“I got upstairs,” he cut her off, taking the steps two at a time. 

I checked downstairs by the sofas, but she wasn’t there. “Anyone found her yet?” 

“Guys, I got her!” Murphy shouted from upstairs and I knocked over the coffee table in my efforts to get to them. I ran up the stairs and burst into the bedroom in question, completely out of breath as I watched him work Madi through her panic attack. By the time I could speak again, and she was calm, I wrapped her in my arms as she sobbed. 

“Oh my god,” I whispered, looking at the blood on her face. “Did he do this?” 

She nodded, “It isn’t… it isn’t my blood.” 

“The next and _only_ time I’m leaving your side is when I go to kill that sick son of a bitch,” I clenched my fist, angry beyond belief. 

“We won’t let anything happen to you, Madi,” Emori sat down next to Madi and put an arm around her. 

I grabbed Indra’s gun and checked how many bullets it had. “I am going to kill him,” I promised. 

Murphy caught my arm, “You can’t make any rash decisions. He’s been planning this, _all_ of this. It’s like when I played him in chess, he was always at least three steps ahead. He’ll know you’re coming.” 

There was a high-pitched feedback noise and suddenly Sheidheda’s voice was echoing through every speaker in Sanctum. _“Friends of the twelve clans…”_

“He’s broadcasting from the palace,” Indra realised, disappearing and leaving us to follow her. 

_“I have something important to tell you,”_ Sheidheda continued. _“You have been lied to. The one you have chosen to follow, Indra kom Trikru, told you the time of the Commanders is over…”_

“Let’s move!” Indra ordered, “We know where he is. I gave you an order!” When people finally started to move, she shouted back up to Murphy, Emori and me. “Keep Madi safe.” 

_“She lied to you. All this time, she knew that a true Commander was among us. She kept me in chains. But no more.”_

I turned around, “I would trust you guys with my life any day of the week. Please look after her.” Pulling three knives out of my jacket, I handed one to each of them.

Emori took hers and slipped it into a pocket. “You gonna have enough left?” 

“Have you _met_ Lyss?” Murphy laughed, “She’s got more than enough.” His face turned serious, “Don’t do anything stupid?” 

I shrugged, “Can’t be helped.” 

“His followers will only accept his death if it works with their tradition, that’s just how it is,” Emori warned. “They might come after you.” 

“Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people, or at least people who are _supposed_ to be dead. I prefer putting a bullet in his brain,” I said with a smirk. 

“Be careful, don’t die, okay?” Murphy said slowly. 

I nodded, bending down to give Madi a hug. “This time he’s staying dead.” 

“Lyss?” She called back as I stood up, and I looked at her again. “Knives first,” Madi whispered. 

I winked, bracing myself before climbing up and over the balcony and dropping down on the other side with a roll to not injure my leg any further.

“Go get the bastard,” I heard Murphy call as I jogged after Indra. 

~

“It’s quite simple, really. If you don’t kneel, you die.” 

That was the last thing I heard before Indra kicked the door open and we burst through. 

“Funny thing is, I got shot in the leg a while back, and crashed through a window yesterday, which makes kneeling a _bit_ of an issue. Guess I’ll have to pass on that front,” I smirked, raising my gun as all eyes in the room turned to us.

Indra fought to the front. _“We will not kneel to you! Not now! Not ever!”_ She pushed her way through the crowd. _“On your feet!”_ When she finally reached him, her face was stern. “Your path to the throne leads through me. You say you honour our traditions, so honour this one. _Soulou gonplei!_ ” 

He smirked, “I was hoping you’d say that.” 

An hour later we reconvened outside and I held on to my gun, ready to cheer for Indra. Sheidheda arrived with a new haircut and I rolled my eyes as he made remarks about Indra’s, since she had cut hers shorter for the fight. She lunged at him with her sword and he blocked it, and soon their blades were clashing against each other. 

Indra managed to remove his blade and send it flying into the lake but he picked her up and slammed her against the ground, leaving her winded. He picked up her sword and brought it down next to her head as she rolled out of the way, getting onto her feet quickly and grabbing a new weapon from one of the guards. 

“Clear the way!” She shouted as she pushed through into a different area, ducking under one of the cloth covers and emerging on the other side as Sheidheda launched another attack. 

“You heard the woman, move!” I prompted, pushing people out of the way as they continued to fight. 

Indra buried a small knife in his shoulder but he wrenched it out of her grasp and tossed it aside before putting her on the ground. She lay on her back, gasping for air as he advanced towards her. 

“Kneel or die!” Sheidy shouted, walking towards her like a predator stalking his prey. 

I slid a knife down my sleeve, waiting for the right opportunity to throw it. 

“I won’t let you take my people!” Indra coughed, standing her ground even as he put a boot over her chest. 

“Come on, Indra!” I called out, “You’re the strongest person I know!” 

I heard Madi before I saw her, heard her cry out as she launched herself into the air and brought down the knife across Sheidheda’s face. _Knives first._ He brought her to the ground with one swipe of his hand and her knife clattered to the floor as he advanced, preparing to plunge his knife into her.

 _No._

“STOP!” Indra interrupted him. “Spare her life, and I will kneel.” 

_No._

I pushed through the crowd but Knight grabbed me and another Sangedakru man took my gun, holding me back as Indra dropped onto one knee. 

_No._

_“I am your Commander,”_ Sheidheda paced. _“And you will kneel to me. Or you will join those that made the same mistake in death.”_

I threw Knight off of me, hooking my good leg around his and swinging myself around and out of his grip as I pulled out the knife. _“I kneel to no one. You’re not my Commander, you’re just a pain in my ass.”_ I tossed the knife and it buried itself in the back of his shoulder as he turned to face me and Knight tried to grab me again. While he was looking at me, he wasn’t looking at Madi and she took a look at me as I nodded at her, before disappearing through the crowd. 

_“Then you have to die,”_ he smiled, walking towards me

 _“You see, that’s not entirely on my to-do list either.”_

Before I had time to register the movement, his hand had moved forwards and a small knife was sticking out of my abdomen. Sheidheda twisted it, and I let out an involuntary grunt of pain as he pulled it back out again, forcing me to look down as blood began to blossom on my shirt. 

_This… complicates things._

I staggered backwards as Indra collapsed out of exhaustion next to me, and Sheidheda turned away only to find out that Madi was gone. He called Knight over and left me on the floor, _“Find her. Find her and kill her.”_

While he was distracted, I crawled out of the way. When he looked back, I was out of sight. 

_“Find Alyssa too. She can’t have gotten far.”_

I pulled myself around a corner and used the side of the building to help me to my feet as I clutched the wound to stop myself from leaving a trail of blood behind me. Where was the closest place I could hide out? Then it hit me: _Jason’s._

Grabbing a jacket off a washing line and slipping it over my own, I kept my head down until I got to his door and slammed my hand into it repeatedly, waiting for him to open up. When he didn’t straight away, I resorted to yelling through the mailbox. “Jay! Let me in!” 

“Oh hell no! I’m not having you steal my new bike! Do you know how much trouble I went through to get this thing?” He shouted back.

“Fucking hell, Jay. Do you want me to bleed out on your front porch or not? Unlock the damn door!” 

There was a crash and a rush of footsteps and my head was spinning as he finally opened the door and I swayed dangerously as I grabbed hold of his arm. “What the hell happened?” 

“I pissed someone off,” I replied, using him as a crutch to get me up the stairs. “And I need you to stitch me back up.” 

Jason almost dropped me in shock and I had to tighten my grip on him to stay upright. “Are you out of your fucking mind? I’m not a doctor!” 

“You’re a tattoo artist which means you have a steady hand, I saw a first-aid kit in the bathroom last time I was here, and you’re closer than anyone else which means you’re most likely to stop me from dying right now. No pressure.” 

“Right…” he helped me onto the table. “You better lie down then.” 

~

I was flat on my back with a hand pressed to the stab wound as blood leaked out of me at an ungodly rate. Jason reappeared with the first aid kit and dropped it onto the table next to me so he could look through it. 

“Did you see where Murphy and Emori took the faithful?” I asked, panting. “Wait, no— don’t tell me, if Sheidy finds and tortures me I don’t want him to know. Actually, tell me. I’d rather die than give them up and he already knows that.”

“I have no idea,” he replied, tearing open my shirt and throwing his face to the side as he gagged. “That doesn’t… that doesn’t…” 

“Spit it out!” 

“I’m trying _not_ to,” he snapped, regaining composure. “That doesn’t look very _fun_ for you.” 

I rolled my eyes, “Ass. Actually, I’m having the time of my life right now.” 

Jason raised an eyebrow as he got the equipment out on the table, trying to find something to use as surgical thread, silently judging my poor life decisions. His eyes grew wide as he clocked something and I frowned, whatever he was thinking couldn’t be good. “Slight issue.”

“Talk to me JJ, what’s wrong?” I asked worriedly, glancing around. “What’s the problem?” 

“I don’t have anything to sew you back up.”

I blinked. “You gotta have something.” 

“Nothing.” 

“Bullshit,” I shook my head, and pushed myself upright so I was sitting on the table, fighting the way my head spun as I did so. “You gotta have something.” I grabbed hold of his arm for support and forcefully brought him with me towards the bathroom as I rifled through all the cupboards and he kept a firm hand on my stab wound. “Bingo.” 

He took a look at the small packet, “No. No way.” 

“We literally don’t have any other choice,” I reminded him. 

“It’s a terrible idea!” Jason protested. 

I laughed, “Believe me, I’ve had worse.” 

Less than five minutes later I was back on the table with something to bite down on as Jason leant over me, armed with nothing but a single needle and a length of fucking _dental floss._

~

I shot awake, groaning in pain at the sudden movement. Jason was hovering by the window, peering through the blinds. He looked over at me when he realised I was awake, and I instantly wondered how much time had passed. He knew that I was about to ask. 

“Two hours. You’ve been out two hours. In that time I hid you in the garage, kneeled for your dark friend, saw the aftermath of him murdering the entirety of the Children of Gabriel and recruiting the Convicts, brought you back up here.”

I bit back another cry of pain as I slid off the table and tested my balance, holding onto the wall to stop myself from falling. “Where are my family?” 

“Madi is with Murphy and Emori and I’m pretty sure the survivors of the faithful, hiding under Ryker’s machine shop. Indra’s stationed inside the palace, which what’s-his-face has commanded,” Jason explained. “But blondie with the side braids convict disappeared into the machine shop a while ago and didn’t come out. I also noticed someone following her, which means your friends are about to have company…” 

Cursing, I pushed off from the table and the wall and with one hand clutching my side, I made my way towards Jason’s bathroom. I tried not to look in the mirror but my pale reflection made me look like a ghost and I was forced to acknowledge it. I shook my head and pushed the fact that I looked like something out of a zombie apocalypse to the back of my mind as I lifted up the lid on the back of his toilet and fished out a gun, shaking the water off the plastic packaging I’d put it in before unwrapping it and sliding it down the back of my jeans. “I need more supplies. Clarke is gone and I don’t know when she’s coming back, which means if we have any shot of taking down that dark bastard we need to be pretty fucking well-armed.” 

“He controls all of the Wonkru weapons,” Jason replied. “Also, how long has that been there and do you hide weapons anywhere else in here?” 

I shrugged, “There’s more knives in the ceiling cavity but I’ve got enough of those already.” I proved my point by pulling my jacket back on and restocking it with all the knives that I had either taken out to take it off, or had fallen out. 

“Bloody hell, how many have you—” 

“Several.” 

Jason let out a sigh, “This ‘Commander’ guy… if we don’t get rid of him he’s basically going to kill us, right?” 

“Without a doubt.” I rifled through my pockets until I found the MP3 and its earphones. “Especially since you’ve been helping me— but thanks for that, by the way. I really appreciate it.” 

“Great. Well, then I suppose you can take the other bike. You know, to help you kick ass and stuff. I can’t ride it if I’m dead, and you seem to be one of my best chances at breathing at the moment,” he decided, tossing me the keys. I caught them and slipped the ring they were on over one finger. 

After a quick supply trip to the tavern for weapons (I have guns _everywhere_ in that place since the faithful took Murphy hostage) that managed to go surprisingly without incident, I prepared to get on the bike and execute the plan. It wasn’t a good plan— definitely not one of my best— and it involved a range of things I probably shouldn’t be doing with a still-healing stab wound, but it was the only plan I had. There’s a large chance that if I crashed in through the window and shot Sheidheda then Sangedakru would murder me almost immediately after, but if there isn’t a chance of me almost dying straight after executing it, is it really a plan?

A commotion outside stopped me in my tracks and I left the motorbike where it was before sneaking around to see what was going on. My heartbeat sped up so much I half-expected it to burn its way through my ribcage as I watched Sheidheda bang on the door of the machine shop. I hesitated, _this could be my chance to kill him_. A well-aimed shot to the back of the head could take him down for real, but my potential plan got thrown out the window the moment Murphy opened the door. I wouldn’t risk his life to kill Sheidheda, I couldn’t. 

Sheidheda pushed past him into the machine shop, with at least a dozen soldiers following after, Indra going in last. The door slammed behind them and I was shut out of the conversation, leaving me in the dark. I grimaced and waited for a minute until Sheidheda emerged again, this time dragging Murphy with him as he left half of his fighters presumably to watch over the unopened reactor. 

I blended into the shadows, far enough away that they couldn’t see me. At least, they shouldn’t have been able to. The one person who locked eyes with me was Indra, and she mouthed a warning. “Don’t do anything stupid.” I winked in reply, pulling up my shirt a little to reveal the messy row of stitches as they disappeared into the castle.

I grabbed the bike, put in my headphones, and prepared for the most painful ride of my life. I took a deep breath, psyching myself up to it as I slotted the helmet on over the top of the headphones. _The World We Made_ by Ruelle started playing and I took another deep breath, settling into the seat and hoping the music would distract me from the pain. 

_Secrets follow us_

_Visions we can’t forget_

_The animal inside got a hold of us_

_But we don’t feel regret_

_Everything’s twisted_

_But we don’t feel a thing_

_There’s no resisting_

I started the bike and began to drive towards the palace. Sheidy was using the main room at the front, which had multiple ground floor windows I could use instead of sailing through ones at chandelier height like last time. 

_It’s in our blood, in our blood, no escape_

_Can’t outrun, no, we can’t get away_

_It’s in our blood, in our blood, in our veins_

_This is the world we made_

The bike caused an unholy amount of pain as it tore across the uneven ground. 

_This is the world we made_

_This is the world we made_

_Prey on the powerful_

_Masters of the game_

_We run with the wolves in the shadows_

_We’ll chase ‘em down till we’re face to face_

_Everything’s twisted_

_But we don’t feel a thing_

_There’s no resisting_

_In our blood, in our blood, no escape_

_Can’t outrun, no, we can’t get away_

_It’s in our blood, in our blood, in our veins_

_This is the world we made_

_This is the world we made_

I crashed through the window and all eyes snapped in my direction, the only sound other than the tinkling of glass as it hit the ground was the sound of a chess piece also hitting the floor as a caught off guard Murphy knocked his castle to the ground. 

_This is the world we made_

Although the plan had sort of turned into more of a rescue mission than an assassination, it hadn’t changed that much. I pulled out my gun, aiming it towards Sheidheda.

_This is the world we made._

Murphy breathed a sigh of relief, “Lyss. You’re alive.” 

“Think so,” I replied, taking off my helmet with my free hand and tossing it aside before leaning against what used to resemble the motorbike. 

Even as the Wonkru guns aimed at me, no one had a chance to do anything before an ominous green glow started to emanate from a weird-looking spiral thing in the corner of the room. The green thing expanded and my eyes flicked to Murphy again to do a once-over for injuries as a group of six appeared in the centre of the room. 

I recognised Clarke and Raven instantly, but frowned in confusion at the four figures in white accompanying them. Clarke was the first to take her helmet off, and I couldn’t blame the look of surprise on her face at how much things had changed since she left. Not like the civil war she already knew about had escalated into the Dick Commander taking over Sanctum and killing everyone who doesn’t kneel or anything.

“What the hell happened here?” Clarke asked, looking around. 

Murphy scoffed, “Gee, where to begin?” 

Since all the guns in the room had turned towards the newcomers, and now didn’t seem like the best time for murder since Clarke had just got here with some random people I didn’t know, tucked the gun back down my waistband and took the opportunity to lift up the bottom of my shirt and check my stitches. Jason was going to _kill_ me. He spent way too long on them and the dental floss probably would’ve held if I hadn’t crashed through a window _again_ for the second time in _two days._ I pulled out a knife with one hand and used the other to tug out the remaining stitches before heating the knife in a nearby torch until it glowed red-hot, pressing it against my skin to cauterise the wound as I looked up at Clarke. “Your timing is bloody impeccable, by the way.”


	7. Burning Bridges

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Never mind, there appears to be a head in that one."
> 
> "My bad. I decapitated him."

Gabriel was the first to step forwards. He frowned in confusion, “Russell, what the hell is this?” I noticed his white robes, and my eyes darted to Bellamy’s for a second. The first thought that came to mind was the fact that he was clean-shaven and his hair was curly like before Praimfaya, and I froze for a second. The thought immediately after was how annoyingly good he looked in white, but I pushed that one down to focus. 

Sheidheda raised an eyebrow, stepping towards the newcomers. “Who the hell are you?” 

I started to explain. “Gabriel, meet Sheidheda, Sheidheda, Gabriel.” I glanced at the throne Sheidheda had been sitting on. “Nice bone throne, Sheidy. It’s giving me real ‘homicidal maniac’ vibes.” 

Raven’s lip curled up in disgust, “So that’s where the code went.” 

One of the members of Sangedakru glared at me before announcing to the others, “This is Malachi kom Sangedakru, and you will bow before him.” 

“Think we’ve already established that I'm not doing that,” I pointed out. “Your name is Malachi? That has good nickname potential.” 

“Since my ascension, the protocol has become rather simple, really. Kneel… or die,” Sheidheda smirked.

A man with a beard stepped forwards, and something in the back of my mind recognised him, but I couldn’t figure out where from. I glanced at Clarke and raised an eyebrow, but she was too focused on the situation to notice. Then the man started to speak, and I realised where I had seen him before. _Cadogan_. The video that Jaha showed us when we were looking for the Second Dawn bunker about the cult. How the fuck was he still alive?

“Ordinarily,” Cadogan began, “I would relish the opportunity to recruit your forces to the cause.” He walked towards Sheidheda. “But unfortunately I have neither the time nor patience to suffer your primitive tribalism.” He opened his arms and dozens of small beams of light fired at the surrounding Sangedakru guards, taking them all out one by one until the only people left standing were me, Indra, and Sheidheda, and Murphy was still tied to a chair by the chessboard. 

As soon as the firing stopped, a dozen soldiers appeared out of thin air, all holding guns. I blinked, recognising their helmets as the ones Jason and I salvaged from Gabriel’s camp. I have _got_ to get myself one of those suits. What’s more dramatic that appearing out of fucking nowhere? The moment all the soldiers were down, I shot over to Murphy, ignoring the pain in my, well, _everywhere_. Raven and Clarke joined me, and I pulled out a knife to cut him free. 

“Invisibility and ray guns I can accept,” he winced as he removed the remains of the rope around his wrists before gesturing to Bellamy, “That needs some explaining though.” 

Clarke turned to Indra, “Please tell me Madi’s safe with Gaia.” 

Indra’s expression hardened, “We thought Gaia was with you?” 

“Madi’s safe for now,” Murphy reassured Clarke.

Cadogan stepped forwards again, “Restrain the soldier, with him.” He gestured to both Indra and Sheidheda and I stepped in front of her protectively as Clarke, Raven, and Murphy did the same. 

“She’s with us,” Clarke explained.

“She was standing unrestrained by the throne. The only reason she’s not dead is because she was unarmed,” he replied flatly. 

Sheidheda let out a cry as he darted towards Cadogan, before groaning in pain and doubling over as another invisible soldier reappeared, her knife already buried in his stomach. I couldn’t help but laugh, which earned me a weird look from Gabriel. 

I raised an eyebrow at Sheidheda, knowing he was a little too preoccupied to reply when I addressed him. “Hurts, doesn’t it? Karma’s a bitch.” 

“The microphone,” Cadogan asked for it, and one of his soldiers retrieved it from the side for him before he knelt down next to where Sheidheda was gasping. “That wound is deep. I have no interest in removing you from your throne. Here’s my proposal.” He paused to take the microphone off the stand and place it next to Sheidheda. “You give me unrestricted movement to get what I came for. That means I see not a single soul in our path, and I leave Dr Santiago here to treat you. When we’re gone, you’re free to continue the debasement of our species until you’re saved like the rest of humanity by the completion of my quest.” 

Black blood oozed from between Sheidheda’s fingers and dripped onto the floor. I briefly wondered what it would feel like to die twice, but that wasn’t what concerned me. _Quest?_ It occurred to me at that moment that I was considerably left out of the loop, and that needed correcting quickly. 

Cadogan stood back up, a faint smile playing on his lips. He was enjoying this. “You refuse, and you die.” Sheidheda caved and picked up the microphone. “Right then. Onward to the key.” 

I raised an eyebrow at Raven, and she explained for me. “The flame is the key.” 

“The key to what?” 

She rolled her eyes, “Apparently the last war mankind will ever wage.” 

~

Cadogan frowned at the buildings in Sanctum as we stood outside the castle, his face covered in distaste as Sheidheda barked orders to his guards over the speakers. “A half-burned castle surrounded by a city of garbage dumpsters… everywhere human beings go is worse off for it, but thanks to us, we will transcend. Thanks to us, we will reach the promised land.” 

I nudged Raven, “What the hell has _he_ been smoking?” 

“I wish I knew,” she replied with a sigh. “But whatever he’s on, he seems to have gotten Bellamy hooked too.” 

“He sounds a bit full of shit, if you ask me,” I whispered. 

Raven bit back a laugh, “He _is_ full of shit. Just another false god for us to deal with.” 

“For god’s sake,” Clarke sighed, pushing past Cadogan and walking ahead. 

I walked with Raven, leaning on her a little as my stab-wound twinged, with Murphy and Bellamy ending up walking behind us. What happened to Bellamy? After a few moments, Murphy shook his head and put on a burst of speed to walk next to us. “Tell me he’s not serious.” 

“Welcome to the party,” Raven rolled her eyes. 

“Yeah. Not gonna lie, feeling a little out of the loop.” 

“Mutual,” Clarke watched him carefully. “You said Madi was safe for now?” 

While they were talking, I lagged behind a little before attempting to fall into step with Bellamy. “Hey,” I said quietly, not wanting to push him yet. “I’m glad you’re alive.” 

“You too,” he replied stiffly. 

“I got worried when Clarke and the others went after you, Echo, Octavia and Gabriel. I thought something had happened,” I admitted, wincing as I almost tripped over an uneven brick in the pavement. Immediately Bellamy’s hand flew out to steady me, and I tried to hide the small smile that threatened my lips. At least that much hadn’t changed. 

As soon as I was walking steadily again he withdrew his hand and let his arms hang by his sides, “Something did happen. I almost died. But I was worthy to serve the Shepherd, and I took a leap of faith, and everything is clearer now.” 

“So the Shepherd is Cadogan?” I asked, wondering if I was on the right track. 

“Yes.” 

“And this isn’t an act?” 

He sighed, “I’m trying to save everyone. After the last war there won’t be any more suffering, no more fighting. We’ve spent too much time fighting already.”

I rubbed my wound sheepishly, “So you know before you left you said ‘don’t do anything stupid or reckless while I’m gone’?” I took a deep breath, “I thought you should know that I’ve crashed a motorbike through a window on two separate occasions, got stabbed, had my wound stitched up with dental floss only for me to rip my stitches less than a few hours later, and willingly stood in front of someone else’s gun in order to stop her from shooting Murphy.” 

Bellamy turned to look at me, sighing again. “That explains why you have glass in your hair.” 

He didn’t pick it out, he didn’t give me a small smile and an eye-roll, a little ‘you’re ridiculous’ look that he does so well. He just pointed it out, and we carried on walking. I picked the small piece of glass out myself once I found it and tossed it to the side of the path. Not everything was the same as before. He had changed a little, and I was still trying to put my finger on the parts of my friend that weren’t the same. 

“Hold,” Cadogan ordered, and we all stopped walking to face him. 

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Look, I’m in a hurry. You have our friends and I would like them back, and then to see my daughter. If you want to see yours, the flame is this way.” She turned around and started to walk towards the path that would take us to the farmhouse. 

“New plan,” he decided. “You go, we’ll stay here.” 

Bellamy frowned, and I sensed the change in atmosphere enough to move towards Clarke, crossing the invisible divide between her, Raven and Murphy, and where Bellamy was standing. “Sir, you heard her,” he agreed. “As long as our friends are out there, she won’t risk their lives.” 

I froze. “Our friends are _where_?” 

“That’s the problem,” Clarke folded her arms. “We don’t know.” 

Cadogan ignored us, “That’s why these three are staying with us. Hurry along, Clarke. I don’t want to be on this infernal moon a moment longer than I have to.” 

Clarke shared a look with Bellamy, and it was a cold and piercing one, before she stalked off towards the farmhouse. Murphy looked unimpressed as he shrugged, “Right, how about we wait in the tavern instead?” He walked towards the building only for three invisible soldiers to appear in front of him, blocking his page. “Ah, fuck, what the hell?” He jumped, startled. 

Raven smirked, “You get used to it.” 

I groaned. “How is this not the weirdest thing I’ve seen today?” 

“Come,” Cadogan ordered, and we were forced to follow. “I like this spot. High ground.” 

“What _is_ the weirdest thing you’ve seen today?” She asked curiously. 

I lifted up my shirt a little to show the recently cauterised stab wound. “I only sealed this because I ripped the stitches. I had to watch Jason sew me closed with a pack of fucking dental floss.” 

“Bloody hell, are you even human?” 

“If I am, I’m definitely not a living one,” I replied with a sigh.

She turned to Murphy, “So, Sheidheda’s alive, and Madi’s in a nuclear reactor? You did good.” Raven patted him on the shoulder jokingly. 

He raised an eyebrow while deadpanning, “Our friends are missing and Bellamy is a sheep. So did you.” Raven scowled at him and he punched her in the arm playfully. “Oh, and the dramatic highlight of the week goes to Lyss, for either the first or second time she drove a motorbike through a window.” 

“You did _what?_ ” Her eyebrows shot up, before she recovered quickly. “Why am I not surprised?” 

“The first was to buy time during a hostage situation, and the second time was to kill Sheidheda… before you guys interrupted and I was forced to hand over my guns,” I explained. “I feel like death.” 

~

Raven, Murphy and I sat in front of a small fire to keep ourselves warm from the snow as Raven brought us up to speed on the current situation. Murphy did a short recap to make sure he got everything, “So let me get this straight… the Shepherd over there is the same guy who built the bunker that saved humanity from Praimfaya _twice_ , and now he wants the flame, broken by you, so he can start a war with… whoever built the stones in order to turn all of us into beings of light?”

“Yep,” she replied.

I shrugged, “Why are our lives like this? We’ve watched earth burn _twice_ , we’ve seen multiple wars, we spent over a hundred years in cryosleep and as soon as we get rid of one false god, another appears? Do we attract weirdness, or is this normal?”

“Nothing about this is normal,” Raven pulled a face. 

Murphy glanced over towards where Cadogan was talking to Bellamy and the other disciple. “Is it weird that to me the craziest part of all this is Bellamy’s robe?” 

“Nope,” she agreed. “Echo and Octavia are hostages, and… look at him.” 

“Yeah, well not to point out the obvious but we’re hostages too,” Murphy reminded her. 

She frowned, “Something happened to him out there.” 

“He said he almost died,” I told them. “But I don’t know why all of it happened.”

“If only he’d tell us, then we could figure out what’s going on in his head,” Murphy sighed.

I scoffed, changing the subject, “What is this, the third time you’ve been taken hostage in as many days?” I raised an eyebrow at Murphy, “Someone’s popular.” 

“Yeah, because I’m definitely enjoying all of this,” he deadpanned. 

Before I could reply, a loud ear-splitting siren started to wail and I looked up in alarm as Gabriel’s voice echoed out of all the speakers. “Attention all of Sanctum. Red sun toxin has been detected. Make your way to your assigned location for evacuation.” 

Murphy groaned as we stood up and walked over to Bellamy. “Time to play another round of ‘who wants to murder your friends?’”

“Sir, we should get you back to Bardo,” Bellamy warned. 

Cadogan shook his head, “I’m not going anywhere without the key. For all we know this could be another one of Clarke’s tricks.” 

Raven pointed at the sky, the red-tinged planet above us, and the cloud of bugs swarming just outside the radiation shield. “If it is, then it’s a damn good one.” 

“Bugs,” Murphy cursed under his breath. 

My left hand clenched into a fist and I unconsciously rubbed my right over the words scarred on the inside of my arm. “Fuck.” 

Then without warning, all the lights nearby went out. 

“Fuck.” I repeated, remembering what happened the last time I was exposed to the red sun without the antitoxin. “ _Fuck._ ” 

Murphy looked at Bellamy. “We should go with them to Ryker’s keep… or maybe you’d like to drown me again in the pond?” 

“Power’s out,” Raven realised, “That means the shield’s down.” She looked at the swarm of bugs that seemed to also have come to the same conclusion. “Guys? We should run.” 

“She’s right, we should go right now,” Bellamy tried to convince Cadogan, but he didn’t move. 

“Not without the _key_ ,” he stressed.

The other man in white tried to command the situation, “I agree with Bellamy. We should execute the hostages and get you home.” 

I raised an eyebrow as Murphy picked up on what I had just noticed. “Well, Bellamy never said _that.”_

“Clarke heard the alarm too,” Bellamy reasoned with him. “She’ll go for Madi.” 

Raven nodded, “The reactor. I can get the power back on and kill the bugs.” 

“Before they kill us,” Bellamy agreed. “Everybody grab a torch! Sir, stay with me.” 

I picked up a torch and held it up to ward away the bugs before they tried to attack. I hovered uneasily as we started to walk towards the reactor, my hand running along the scars on my arm. The bugs rushed past us and away from the flames of the torches, and we followed them into the machine shop before scattering them. As Raven moved to seal the windows, Bellamy was about to shut the door when Clarke ran in, the bottom half of her face covered in a cloth in an attempt to keep out the airborne toxin. She held a torch in her hand, and a bag was slung over her shoulder. “Hold the door!” She called, rushing inside.

“Clarke,” Raven sighed in relief. 

Cadogan watched her suspiciously. “What’s in the bag?” 

“Antitoxin. From the farmhouse.” 

“For your daughter,” he guessed. 

She glared at him. “Enough for all of us. But yes, I was thinking of my family before you.” Clarke shoved the bag into Bellamy’s hands before pulling out one of the masks and tossing it to me. I held it against my face and inhaled, relaxing once I was sure I wouldn’t fall victim to the psychosis against. 

“Another lesson in the destructiveness of familial love,” Cadogan mused. 

Bellamy tossed a mask to ‘his Shepherd’ first, and the other man in white, before throwing one to Raven and another to Murphy. Once Murphy had taken some of the toxin he looked at me, his brow furrowed as he nodded at me so slightly I almost missed it. I could tell what he was asking. _Are you okay?_

I nodded back, a small smile of relief slipping onto my face.

Behind me, Clarke started to bang on the reactor door to get inside. Needless to say, it didn’t work. Cadogan watched her distastefully for a second before asking, “The key?”

“If you open this door, I’ll give it to you without a fight.” 

He nodded at one of the disciples beside him, “Alright. Disciple Kelly, the door.” 

The man stepped forwards and raised his hand, a laser firing out of it and blowing a hole in the middle of the door, leaving a smoking ring of hot metal around the edges. I winced, hoping to never be on the receiving end of one of those, however cool they may be. Murphy went in first, raising his hands. 

“Hey, hey, hey, hey, good guy! Good guy, remember?” He grinned at Emori and she ran at him, wrapping her arms around him. 

Clarke was next in, colliding with Madi and I joined them in a group hug. Emori and Raven reunited and Murphy started to reassure the others that there was enough antitoxin upstairs for everyone. Madi stiffened as we released each other and she looked past Clarke, and I turned to see what she was looking at. _Cadogan._ Clarke stepped in front of her protectively but before I had a chance to move myself in front of them both she brushed me aside to hand over the flame.

Cadogan inspected it, smiling smugly. “For all mankind.” 

We moved into the machine shop and I watched out of the corner of my eye as Cadogan inspected the flame. I sat down on the stairs with Clarke on my left and Madi between us. Her eyes flicked between Cadogan and the flame worriedly for a while before she finally whispered, “I don’t think you should’ve given him that.” 

“Why?” Clarke asked her. 

“I remember things,” Madi said quietly. 

I realised what she meant. “Your sketchbook?” 

She nodded, and worry creased Clarke’s features as she leant in and lowered her voice. “Madi, don’t tell anyone that. Okay? Ever.” 

Madi nodded, and Clarke wrapped an arm around her. I leant against them, resting my head on top of Madi’s as she let her own fall on Clarke’s shoulder. We stayed like that for a while, not moving, just listening to the sound of each other’s breathing with the occasional interruption to breathe in some of the antitoxin. 

Until Nikki emerged from the reactor. 

The reactor that Raven was last seen inside. 

I shot to my feet and bit down on the cry of pain that threatened to escape my lips with the sudden movement. Murphy was into secondary containment first, Emori straight after and Clarke arrived just after me. 

_Alive._

I felt myself relax, but not by much. We lowered ourselves down next to her as she sobbed. We couldn’t say it was going to be okay, because it wasn’t. None of us knew what was going to happen, none of us knew who was going to survive this, and even then it wouldn’t be unscathed. None of us were okay.

But at least we were all here.

Except Bellamy. Bellamy was notably absent. 

~

By the time the bugs had all died and the shield was completely secure, we made our way back to the great hall as a group. The disciples went first, along with Bellamy, and the rest of us followed close behind. Indra was waiting with a gun that pointed firmly towards Cadogan from the moment he arrived. She narrowed her eyes at him, “Where the hell is my daughter?” 

He frowned, “ _Who_ the hell is your daughter?” 

“Indra, hold on.” Bellamy tried to placate her. “We didn’t know she was missing until today, nobody did. We’re gonna get everyone back. Put down the gun.” 

“It’s okay, Indra.” Clarke stepped forward. “He’s going to help us.”

“Does that mean you have the flame?” Gabriel asked.

Cadogan smiled, “I do.” 

“I believe I can restore the damaged code with this,” he revealed, gesturing to a machine next to him. “It’s used to repair memory drives. Stitching together broken fragments of code. The code, like the flame itself, was made by—”

“Becca Franco,” Cadogan finished for him. “Show me.”

Gabriel nodded, accepting the flame as it was handed over. I wrapped an arm around Madi’s shoulder’s protectively as he started to explain what he was doing. “If Becca’s memories are in here, we can find them.” 

“Now we can start the last war,” the other disciple in white announced. 

Yeah, no shit, buddy. I thought that was pretty damn obviously what was going to happen. 

Code scrolled across the screen and Gabriel wiped a bead of sweat from his brow, before saying quietly. “We are. I’m sorry.” Without warning, he pulled a gun from the waistband of his weird white pants and fired at the flame, destroying it for real this time. He then aimed the gun at Cadogan, giving out orders. “Helmets off and weapons down. All of you, right now! Antitoxin.” He beckoned to Jackson and got handed a mask in response. Once he inhaled, he wiped his forehead again. 

Bellamy stepped forwards, “Gabriel, we need him. We need him if we want to get our friends back, _your_ friends— Echo and Hope too. Put down the gun.” 

“Take him!” The other disciple in white shouted, rushing towards him. Clarke put him down with a bullet before he even got close to Gabriel. Bellamy cried out, catching his friend as he fell and pressing his hand to the dying man’s chest as blood spilt between his fingers. “Don’t… lose… faith…” he whispered before going limp in Bellamy’s arms.

Clarke wasted no time. “Raven, activate the stone. We need to get to our friends.” 

Raven picked up a helmet and slotted it on, and Clarke drew closer with her gun aimed at Cadogan. I picked up my gun from where it had been confiscated before and reached for a helmet myself, desperate to try one out and take it with me. I turned it over in my hands before letting out a yelp and dropping it abruptly. “Never mind, there appears to be a head in that one.”

“My bad,” Indra replied flatly. “I decapitated him.” 

Raven pressed on the symbols to activate the stones before addressing Cadogan. “Which planet? Where are they?” 

“It’s offline,” he revealed. “Only I know the code.” 

She sighed, “He’s telling the truth. There’s one planet we can’t get to.” 

“Enter the damn code,” I ordered him. Cadogan pressed a few symbols and the green glow from before appeared in the room.

“There’s your bridge,” he sighed. “Go.”

Clarke kept her gun trained on him, “You’re coming too. Now move.” 

“You should have more faith, Clarke,” he advised. 

I rolled my eyes, “We do. Just not in you.” 

Bellamy stepped forward but Clarke shook her head, “Not you. You made your choice.” 

Murphy didn’t make eye contact as he addressed Bellamy. “I really hope this thing you believe in is worth it.” 

“It is,” he said quietly. 

“Let’s go,” Raven announced, and she walked through the glowing green swirl, closely followed by the others until the only ones left in the room were a few disciples, Cadgoan, Indra, Bellamy, Clarke and myself. 

I walked towards Bellamy. “After Clarke died, I didn’t think I would let myself lose anyone else. Frankly, after Praimfaya I didn’t think I could survive losing you again. But I have to, because you’re not the Bellamy I came to the ground with,” tears welled in my eyes as I spoke. “Does any of this matter to you? Do we matter to you anymore? Or do you only care about _your Shepherd?_ ” 

Clarke shook her head in disbelief, “So much for together.” She nodded at Indra, and she disappeared inside the green portal with Cadogan, with Clarke ready to go in. She turned around at the last second, sparing a glance at her former best friend, but I couldn’t draw my eyes away from Bellamy as he walked towards Sheidy’s bone throne and she disappeared into the swirling mist behind me. 

I recognised the book immediately as he thumbed through it. _Madi’s sketchbook._

 _“Bellamy, give it to me,”_ I warned him in Trig so that the other disciples couldn’t understand, even as they watched intently. _“Now.”_ I pulled out another gun and held it in my other hand, pointing both at different disciples. _“Or I’ll shoot them. You know I will.”_

“Madi isn’t in danger.” 

I shook my head. _“They will kill her to get what they want. She would never cooperate so they would torture and then kill her. Raven told me about the memory capture. I can’t let that happen, Bellamy, I can’t.”_

His eyes misted over as tears clouded Bellamy’s vision. “I’m trying to save us all, Alyssa. I don’t need you to understand it, I just need you to _trust me._ ” Bellamy’s voice was pained, and it was clear he didn’t like this any more than I did. 

“I almost always trust your judgement, Bell, but this time… I just _can’t._ If I have to kill Cadogan to protect my family, then I will and you know it.” At the words ‘kill Cadogan’, one of the disciples advanced towards me and I sent him down with a bullet to the heart. 

“Hold, hold!” He pleaded. “Lyss, this isn’t about Cadogan. It’s bigger than any of us.” 

I was forced to turn the gun towards him, as my hands started to shake. “Don’t make me do this. I can’t do this, _please._ ” 

“You’re not gonna shoot me, Lyss. The bridge will close, you should go,” Bellamy’s voice shook as he choked out the words.

“Not without that book.” 

Bellamy held out a hand. “What you’re feeling right now? That need to protect someone you love so badly you’re willing to kill one of your closest friends, someone you trust who is telling you that the fate of the entire human race is at stake!” 

“Bellamy I can’t let you do this! You know me! I would do _anything_ to protect my family even if I had to put a bullet into my own brain to do it. The fact that this is happening right now is tearing me apart! I have nightmares about losing Madi, Murphy, Clarke, _you_ , and it would _break_ me.”

“All this suffering can end. Madi’s suffering too. I have no choice but to share this,” he looked down at the book in his hands. “I will keep her safe, I promise.”

It took everything I had to keep the gun steady and trained on him, but if I fired it in the state I was in there was half a chance it would miss by miles. “Funny, that’s what you said before you put the flame in her head.” Tears dripped down my face and I had to squeeze my eyes shut for a moment to try and steady myself.

“This is how we do better,” he tried to convince me, his eyes moving to the tattoo on my wrist. _Do better._ “This is the only way.”

“Cadogan says that your love makes you selfish, that it is destructive but Bellamy your love is your greatest strength. It’s one of the reasons why _I love you!_ But I can’t let this happen and you have _got_ to understand that!” I sobbed, the words were out of my mouth before I even realised what I had said. _I love you._ That made a lot of sense, actually. It also might explain the dozen or so remarks Murphy had made about me being clueless. 

“If you love me—” his voice cracked. “If you love me, then you should trust me.” 

“I’ve always trusted you,” I said quietly. “But you trust Cadogan more.” 

“I’m sorry.” He passed the notebook between his hands, before looking towards one of the remaining disciples. “You need to keep this safe, for the Shepherd.”

I broke. “Me too,” my finger squeezed the trigger, and dozens of memories flashed past my eyes. The book flew from his hands as the bullet hit his arm, and as one of the other disciples lunged for the book I fired another shot and this time it was to kill. The book was too far away for me to get and Bellamy had already reached it, I used a few more bullets to take out the advancing disciples as the bridge began to close behind me. 

“Lyss,” he pleaded, the book tucked under his arm as he clamped his hand down on the bullet wound even as blood began to spill through his fingers and onto the white fabric. I raised the gun again, barely able to keep it steady. 

“Give me the book, and walk away.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

The bridge flickered as the green swirl started to grow smaller and I let out a sob as I pulled the trigger, closing my eyes and half-expecting to hear the thud of the bullet tearing into him more than see it because he gave me no _choice._ We were running out of time and I had to get to my other friends, to help them, and if he had that book then Madi was in danger. But the sound never came, and instead I was greeted by the quiet click as I realised I was out of bullets. 

I opened my eyes and stared at the gun for what seemed like an eternity before it slipped from my grasp and hit the ground. Bellamy’s expression was creased in pain but it seemed to be more at what I had almost done than the wound in his shoulder. My jaw slackened and I couldn’t seem to find the words— _any_ words— so I took a step backwards, then another, until the room disappeared and the only thing surrounding me was the green glow of the anomaly.

The realisation of what I had figured out, and what I had just done, hit me all at once. 

I loved him. 

And I almost killed him. 

_But I didn’t._

And now we both have to live with that.


End file.
